THE LIE
by Howlynn
Summary: It is the Quell, but this time Haymitch goes to the games with Katniss. What would happen if they are the last two - What would he have to do to send Katniss home?  Dark - sad - no happy ending possible.   for unforgivably dark action assignment
1. Chapter 1

**THE LIE**

**I Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Ok the assignment is to make base character do something unforgivably dark. So It had to be pretty bad beings Haymitch is beautiful dark in the first place. In catching fire, if Haymitch and Katniss went to the arena, what would he do to make sure that she won? Assume no rebellion has been started to save them all from the arena – only the rumors and the trouble has landed them in this mess and following that logic - of course Haymitch would join her, wanting to give his kids a chance while ending his own pain once and for all.**

**This is my version. (oh and miss MarbleSharp - this is rated for your zone of safety! Lemon flowers, but no bees) There will be blood, after all it is what the public wants in this world of murderous Panem.**

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><p><strong><span>Chapter 1 (reap and sew)<span>**

_**"When god is gone and the devil takes hold, who'll have mercy on your soul….oooohhhoooo death" Jen Titus- found in Panem's antique song museum.**_

Effie Trinket stands on the stage, looking sick to her stomach. She has just called the only female name, Katniss Everdeen. She reaches into the male jar, the one with two slips. A tear leaks down her cheek and she doesn't bother to brush it away.

"Peeta Mellark." She announces, voice just above a whisper.

Peeta groans, not because he will go to the games, but because he knows he won't. He has lost. Haymitch smirks and bottle in hand, he shouts, "I volunteer!"

Effie closes her eyes shaking in sorrow she must control for the camera. She forces her face into a smile and welcome's her dear friend to his death. He bends her over planting a kiss on her lips and unlike last year, she doesn't protest. This year is different. This is the last year she will ever see his drunken annoyingly inappropriate behavior and it has just dawned on her, he will never try to kiss her again.

Katniss smiles at Haymitch and they stand beside each other holding each other, her hands resting on his waist, his draped protectively on her shoulder. In the capital, an announcer voices over this footage, giving back story for the district twelve tributes for the quarter Quell. Peeta Mellark fumes as he looks up at them. The peacekeepers shove them toward the train with no goodbyes allowed.

Peeta and Katniss do not comfort each other, at odds over this twist. Peeta wanted to go to the games with her, to protect her. He fears that Haymitch will somehow let her down. He is appalled by their cheerful tasteless banter.

He is angered at how Haymitch and Katniss look dark and forbidding on the chariot as Haymitch's hand rests casually at her hip, instead of his own. He doesn't like the implications the media keeps expressing about a May-December romance, while Katniss and Haymitch just smirk and hang on each other more. He doesn't like the way Finnick Odair keeps showing up, watching Katniss like a dog in heat. When she begins to return his flirtatious behavior, Peeta hopes the man with the green eyes dies bloody. He never realized Odair and Abernathy have shared such history. It makes him sick to watch them all pretend as if the world is at their beck and call.

They both score a 12, which makes his tributes the first target. They will kill Haymitch first, then who knows what they will do to Katniss. Fate is always a cruel master. If they died, he would never see district twelve again. No, if she died. If Haymitch came home fine, but Peeta would never mentor again. If she died, he would meet her there. He knew this insane jealousy he was developing was just a manifestation of his fear of her loss. But, it felt awfully real.

The interviews were a disaster; Haymitch was brutally sarcastic, winning no hearts and little sympathy for Katniss. She had created a stir in that dress Cinna had altered for her but the repercussions terrified him. He had never run computers before and all the keys and programs frustrated him, but he knew the lives of Katniss and Haymitch depended on his ability to learn how to do this.

When he finally joined them for dinner before the recap, he found them mildly drunk and making horrible jokes about death and carcass collection. They had no shame and no willingness to exercise any restraint. The way they acted made him feel like an outsider. Peeta took one look at Effe Trinket's horrified face and he lost it.

"Stop drinking you idiots. This is no time for you two to be stupid." Peeta shouts as Effie looks on, tears sliding down her face at how unfair this situation has become.

"Well Sweetheart, we don't have to stand for this. Come, let's adjourn to my room for a private strategy session." Haymitch winks at her. He grabs two bottles of expensive champagne and the ice bucket, before heading to his room.

Katniss stands up and glares at Peeta as she follows Haymitch down the hallway, two fluted glasses in her hand. Peeta hears the door lock and he looses his control. With a growl he lifts the entire dining table and tosses it on its side. Effie runs down the hall to her room and the avox Darius, silently picks up the mess. Peeta stands at the window; ashamed, furious and so very afraid he will watch them both die. The giggles, songs and happy sounds coming from Haymitch's room do nothing for the blond man's foul mood.

As the recap of the interviews begin, Effie joins him on the couch. He apologizes softly and she reaches out her hand and takes Peeta's without saying a word. They watch it in silence.

Katniss snuggles to Haymitch. They lay in peaceful silly sorrow together, both secretly intending to send the other home from the games. The laughter and off color jokes have given way to the soft velvet love of a father for the daughter he never had and a girl who has found someone who she can love without fear.

Her head rests on his chest and as she listens to his heartbeat, nothing matters; he has kept Peeta safe for her. She can't stand the thought of what they will have to do, that in just days or hours, this steady drum that anchors her in a way no boy can, could stop beating forever. He will try to make it happen. He will try to break his heart for her, and because of this, she must cling to him. It is her last chance to explain how she feels for him. She can't explain in words, they don't do that sort of thing. But this, comfort of holding on to each other, speaks to each what they need to hear.

They will love each other; enjoying the sweetness they have always felt for each other with open hearts now, both knowing this is goodbye. He pets her hair and and kisses her on the top of her head. She takes his hand and kisses the back of it, holding it to her face in reverence. She is drifting toward sleep when he stirs slightly.

She pops her head up, looking adorable with the imprint of his shirt button high on her cheek. "It is getting late sweetheart, you should go." He says with regret.

She nods, but doesn't leave. "I love you, you know?" she says kissing his cheek, the champagne giving her courage to say what she has needed to say.

"I will love you forever Katniss. No matter what happens, what you see, know it is out of love. Promise me sweetheart?" His words are sweet, but his eyes are hard.

She bows her head to his chest again breathing in his smell. He looked so handsome for the interviews tonight, the best she'd ever seen him look. Cinna had dressed him in formal tails, the father of the bride, ready to give her away. She had been stuck in that horrible wedding dress, that burned into a mockingjay like a magic shroud for her grief.

"Can I stay?" she whispers.

He sighs, unsure how to respond. "I don't think that is a good idea sweetheart, our mentor would jump to the wrong conclusion, and frankly, I think he is upset enough with us. What will the media say, thinking you seduced me with your feminine wiles"

She glares at him and slaps his chest. "I am not worried about that you big jerk. I don't think I even have any of those." She wiggles her finger in that spot on his ribs that she has discovered he's ticklish and he jerks helplessly before capturing her hand in his own to stop the torture. " I just want to be here, with you. I want to sleep and I won't have bad dreams if I know you're here."

"You promise not to take advantage of me?" He smirks.

She scowls and doesn't respond. "I don't know how to…You are a man Haymitch. It seems like something you might want on your last night. I would for you, if it…." She blushes shamefully.

"Katniss, that…" he doesn't know what to say, knowing he can't dare make fun of her. "That ….why would you say that sweetheart?"

"Because, You don't have anybody. I could. I mean I don't want to let you die and not have ever thought about what you might have wanted. I will die to protect you. Giving you something, like a present, can't be as hard as that Haymitch." She doesn't meet his eyes except at the part about protecting him.

"Wait, are you saying, you and Peeta have never?" Haymitch had suspected they had not, but he'd hoped for both of their sake.

She shakes her head. "We don't."

He touches her face and lifts her chin so she has to look at him. "Then the gift you offer is too great a treasure to be mine. Katniss, I will send you home to him. No matter what I have to do, you must keep that gift for the one who will be your husband." His eyes dance with kindness.

"But if I die, then I will never have one." She whispers.

"Then if this is something you feel strongly about, you should be in his room right now, not mine." Haymitch pulls her to him and kisses her forehead. His lips don't leave her skin as he speaks.. "Thank you for the thought sweetheart. If you were ten years older, I would be inclined to give you no rest this night. Katniss, when I fanaticize about you, you are my own daughter, not something I want to take as a lover. Thank you, but no." He tries to say this all in a way that will not upset her.

Young girls egos are fragile, hers perhaps more than any, though she won't admit it. This was not the time for him to laugh at her, she had offered for his sake. Even if she wanted it for herself, the thought of her in that way could not settle with him as desire. If Effie had made the offer, he would have taken her up on it. He liked women of ambiguous age, not young ladies who were not even alive during his own first Quell.

She can't quite hide the relief on her face and she blushes and feels foolish for her suggestion. "You can't be my Daddy Hay, but you're sort of a big ole Papa Bear. Will that do?"

"A more treasured gift than the first, my little babydoll." He whispers, tears welling in his bright gray eyes.

A firm knock sounds at the door. Katniss hops up and opens the door to find a glaring Peeta standing rigidly. He seems surprised when he realizes they are both still dressed. "I don't mean to disturb you, but I came to say goodbye." His voice is stiff and formal, as if he is a stranger to them.

Haymitch snickers. "My daughter has decided to spend the night here, would my son like to join us? Last night to be a family?"

Peeta's eyes darken and he looks at Katniss. "Oh I am taking off the feathers, but stay here, because I will be back." Katniss turns and waits for Peeta to undo the tiny buttons that lock her in this strange and beautiful garment. She digs through Haymich's drawers and grabs some ugly man pajamas and heads to the bathroom.

Peeta looks at Haymitch with a quizzical expression. His mouth opens.

"So are you staying with us or are you leaving me with the seductive little wildcat to have her way with me?" Haymitch asks with a smile.

Peeta turns beet red, unsure how to take this statement. "I didn't know I was invited."

"Well, I am inviting you. What did you think I was going to do, paw at her and face you? That what you expect of me? No wonder you have been such a grouch. I will get her back to you Peeta."

Peeta hangs his head and sighs. "I do believe that Haymitch. I do."

"You better."

The wild cat steps out of the bathroom with what looks like baggy clown cloths tied into knots to hold them up and legs and sleeves rolled up. Her hair stands up in strange loops and angles, stiff with spray, but no longer contained with pins. She looks like a ravished ragamuffin. Peeta rolls his eyes and laughs.

Haymitch joins him in laughing and Katniss asking what's so funny simply makes them laugh harder. By the time they all stop giggling at her appearance, the three of them are snuggled down. Katniss and Peeta lay on either side of Haymitch, holding hands across his chest and wishing this night would not end.

"Night Papa." Katniss says, words slurred with alcohol and exhaustion.

Peeta's eyes open for a second and he says nothing at the satisfied smirk that appears on Haymitch's face. The man looks downright peaceful and content for once. He looks at Katniss, and cant help but grin at how her face, framed in left over dreadlocks of her ruined quaff of hair, looks like a wild angel resting inches from him.

He forces himself to hope she will survive and he dreams of a future, but the dreams can't come true. The bell to the bakery jingles and they turn to greet the customer. An older, sober Haymitch grins as he leads two small children into the new Mellark Bakery.

"Gran-Papa took us to the candy store Mamma and we brought Daddy peppermints." The oldest child says still clinging to Haymitch's finger.

"Now you have gotten me in trouble." Haymitch grumbles in mock betrayal.

Katniss bends to the child and kisses her head, eyes twinkling at Haymitch, she searches his pockets and tickles him. "What did Papa bring me?"

"Well Mrs. Mellark, what makes you think I would bring you any goodies when you always insist on spoiling our fun." Haymitch chews his lip as Katniss crosses her arms pretending anger. Finally he gives in and reaches in his greatcoat pocket. "Chocolate raisins, as always, but I am giving them to your husband this time. Maybe he can actually get them baked into the cookies before you sneak them all, for once."

Katniss rolls her eyes as Peeta interjects, "Haymitch, you have turned into an optimist?"

Katniss giggles, "Just old and delusional."

Haymitch's face grows serious. "Anything is possible sweetheart. Anything."

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><p><strong>I have four chapters mapped out for this, but beings I pantser, that could change - thank you for your reviews - any guesses on what the big ole dark thing Hay must do will be -hehehehe. Keep reading -it might be _Review Please<strong>


	2. Chapter 2 enemy among us

**THE LIE**

I **Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 2 (the enemy among us)**

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><p><em><strong>Well, you don't know what we can find, come along with me little girl, on a magic carpet ride…. Stepphonwolf - lyrics found in Antique Song Museum of Panem<strong>_

The morning arrives too soon. The prep teams find their three charges wrapped up in each other's arms and by the time Cinna resolves to wake them; everyone is fighting tears, knowing they have unexpectedly witnessed something sacred. The two young people cling in sleep to the grizzled old legend. Haymitch Abernathy, the unbendable acidic king of foul moods and hangovers, has been caught with his heart showing.

The goodbyes among the three are pure torture to watch. "Each of you needs to remember who the enemies are in there. Katniss everyone is your enemy. Even me."

The girl's head shakes. "You will never be my enemy, Papa Bear."

Haymitch sighs. "Do exactly like I told you boy, and it will be just fine."

"Thank you." Peeta says with one last embrace from his old mentor. He is gone to the mentor's war room long before the prep teams send their tributes to the hovercrafts.

The team treats Haymich with more kindness today. Before they feared him and hated dealing with him, but now his cover is blown and they smile at his sarcasm rather than cringe. He doesn't fool them now. Portia kisses his smooth cheek and bids him sincere farewell as the launch tube descends between them. She cries as soon as he is out of sight, having realized for the first time, that he is still something of a handsome devil.

The sun is too bright as Haymitch ascends. He has a wealth of painkillers floating in his system, to alleviate his mild hang over. He hopes the boy doesn't dally around too long with his first parachute. Water, dammit, all he sees is water. Finnick will love this place. He looks around and spots Katniss. She is turned around backward beating at the tube, kneeling and as the tube slides away only then does she stand up and turn around.

Anger fills him. God what did they do to her already. He tries to catch her gaze, hoping to steady her, but she bends to the water, tasting it and scowling. She stands again, resolved, but he knows her well enough to realize she does not have her head in this arena. This is confirmed, when at the gong, she dives into the water before even checking to see if there are any dangerous creatures to avoid. Helplessly he dives to, only to discover she is a much stronger swimmer than he is. He fights the tide, panicked she will reach the cornucopia and be slaughtered before he reaches the sand.

Sure enough, she and Finnick are up on the beach in a stand off, as he still battles this infernal undertow. He tries to shout at them that they are allies, but he is tiring and ends up nearly choking himself on the briny choppy water. He curses as he tries to reach them, he sees Odair in a defensive stance and Katniss has her bow drawn at his heart. Finnick yells for her to duck as Brutus dashes toward them. Haymitch grins at how Finnicks trident launches and sinks into the man's chest. Who would have thought he would be the first to die. Haymitch had gone to great thought on how he would overcome this brutal adversary and he has been removed at once.

Enobaria screams as she tries to get to the weapons, but Katniss, fires her arrow and it plant's itself in the base of the woman with the sharpened teeth's scull, despite her evasive dive back into the water. A trickle of blood drizzles from the body and Haymitch is thankful to feel the sand under him at last, fearing the red substance would attract the predators that more than likely hide in the beautiful water. Two down before he's even out of the water, not good.

Katniss turns, notching an arrow automatically and preparing to end him too. "Not yet sweetheart." He says calmly, glad to see it is in her to take even his life if it had to be.

She frowns and immediately drops the bow to her side, arrow still hooked to the string but relaxed. "There are only weapons. No food or water."

"Did you take the only bow?" Haymitch asks, digging for a dozen knives, an ax, a sword and a funny little tube, which looks like the worlds longest straw. He spies two more bows and tucks them over his back to Katniss' surprise and digs out two extra quivers as well.

"Can you even use those?" she asks with critical amusement.

"I guess we will find out sweetheart. How hard can it be if you mastered it?" He teases. "Care to tell me what happened at your launch?" He asks still sorting through weapons.

"They killed Cinna." She says, voice cold and distant. She scowls at Haymitch. "There are only twenty two of us, how much of that do you need to cart around?"

He looks around and sees why she is getting impatient. Others have beached and some of them are starting to edge toward them. Haymitch sees one of his best friends, waiting just in the water. Chaff glares but doesn't approach. Haymitch grabs several more swords and Finnick picks up three skeins of rope. Haymitch waves for them to follow and he heads toward Chaff. He tosses the swords at the dark skinned one-armed man. "For Old times." He says trotting on not waiting for a response.

"Don't even think of poking me with any of that, Chaff" Finnick says in good-natured threat. "I would hate have to show you up."

Chaff calls after the trio, "That all it was worth to you? Thought friends might matter a little."

Fennick jogs backward. "It does matter old man. These jerks, I can kill. You would hurt me too much. Take care of Seeder, If we meet up, lets all vow clean kills?"

Chaff grins and shakes his head at Finnick. "My word brother. I will stick you deep and fast, always heard about what you liked." He whips the long sword around with amazing expertise for a one armed man.

Finnick raises his hand with an off color gesture as they move along. Chaff grins and returns it. Haymitch pulls ahead, his breath is heavy, but he seems stronger than he'd ever appeared in the training they had all played at.

Mags is paddling toward shore and both Finn and Katniss stop to wait for her. Haymitch turns after just a few steps. Following their line of sight he swears. "You have got to be joking me."

Finn, raises his trident. "Not Mags Katniss." He says warning in his voice.

Katniss grins. "I will slice you before I'd hurt her. I want Mags. You are only in if she approves."

Mags hobbles right up to Katniss and pinches her cheek. She garbles something that sounds like. "ew dok har deenie. My finn?"

"Yes, to keep you happy, I will put up with your Finn, but only so long as he keeps his hands to himself." Katniss replies.

Mags grins as Finn bends and she climbs up in a net he has draped over his shoulders. "Uk Dat."

Finn adjusts the old woman upon his back like a wrinkly backpack. "What do you mean good luck with that? I'd hit on you before her." He says in mock disgust.

"I don't think you will live very long if you choose either option Finn." Haymitch laughs. "Come on, we need to find water."

"There isn't any." Katniss says sadly.

Haymitch turns to her in surprise, eyebrows drawing together. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Cinna told me. It's why they killed him. They beat him to death. And all I could do was bang on the glass. Begging them to stop." She chokes and shakes her head refusing to say anything else.

Haymitch and Finn exchange looks. "If that's true this game won't last three days."

"Fine with me." Haymitch agrees, "faster the better."

They slip into the forest silently but the bird noise is overwhelming. Jabberjays surround them and the first of the tortures of the arena becomes clear. For Katniss, the noise is Prim screaming. "Please no. Stop it. Katniss make it stop. You're hurting me. Noooooooo." Then the screams become blood curdling.

"Prim." Katniss whispers sinking to her knees.

"It isn't real." Haymitch says softly. Then his face blanches at the sound of a boy. He calls to Haymitch and the gray eyes turn glassy. "That sound is from 25 years ago, when they hung my kid brother. Don't pay attention."

Finnick is covering his ears and rocking. "Iz Annie" Mags explains to the others.

Katniss reaches into her pocket and hands Haymitch a card. "This cost him his life." She whispers.

Haymitch looks down. After a few moments study, he understands what he holds. "It's the key to the whole arena." He says quietly.

Katniss shrugs and nods. She listens to Prim in her agonizing screams. "They only repeat what they hear," she says with hopeless resolve. "They have killed her. They hurt her to get that noise."

"No. It is fake. They won't kill her unless…" His jaw begins working.

"No, she's right. They got that sound from someplace." Finn sobs.

Haymitch sighs. "It's what they will do to them if we don't play the game. For me it's all happened, but they will hurt your loved ones, just like they did mine if we stick to our plan."

Katniss looks at him, eyes filled with anger. "What, Haymitch."

"There can be no suicide. They want us to kill each other or fall in the traps."

Katniss shakes her head and buries her face in Haymitch's chest. "No. I can't Papa Bear. You have to. Just get it over with. Right now. It will be easier for you if you don't have to protect me."

"Katniss, we agreed." Haymitch says danger lurking in his tone.

"I don't care. It was bad enough you wandering off with a rope, knowing what the cannon would mean. If I have to do it? I will just sit and wait for those bat rastards to send something awful. I won't kill you. No matter what. So, You go home. You go home." Her voice is soft but determined.

"We can cross that bridge when we get to it." He says, patting her soothingly.

Parachutes fall, one, two, three, four. Each is a half-gallon of water.

Haymitch looks up and scowls. "Don't get sanctimonious on me now boy!" Another parachute lands. Haymitch picks up his bottle and toasts the sky. "That's more like it." He cracks the seal and swallows deeply. Katniss stands up and waits for him to pass the liquor to her. He glares at her. "Oh no sweetheart, this is for me. You will have to make do with the water."

"Jerk." She says. The forest is silent. The next wedge over is now active. They listen in silence to the screams of the dieing.

"You will move every three hours, staying behind the game makers toys. Right now you all need to rest, I will keep watch." Haymitch commands.

When Haymitch shakes Katniss awake, she groans. Her eyes fly open. "You said you, not we." She says still groggy.

Haymitch smiles and nods. "I am breaking our alliance, sweetheart."

"No." she says fearfully.

"Just stay alive. I will be back to take care of them for you if I can. More than likely, I will save you the trouble of it coming down to us two. You keep count. When everyone is gone you will have to do Finn first. Mags will understand." He is quiet but firm.

"No. You promised Peeta. You would look out for me. You wouldn't leave me." Katniss is near panic.

"I promised him you would win. I will make that happen. Katniss. If I come back and it is only the two of us, I will make you. So just get it in your head now. Don't make me compel you. If you love me, babydoll, don't make me force you." He smiles and kisses her head. "Make it quick for me, if you can."

"I won't do it." She says softly.

"Yes you will, sweetheart. Yes you will." He stands and jogs off without looking back.

She stands up and calls after him. Her voice turns to screams. "You can't make me. It won't work Haymitch. You better die out there you lying sack of Mutt Poop. I hate you. Please don't leave me! I love you! Please!"

Finnick sits up. "Katniss? What happened?" He jumps up looking around for the danger, his trident at the ready.

"He left me." She whispers. She looks up. "Peeta? I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. He left me with freaking Finnick Odair!" Then Katniss turns and accepts comfort from the third most horrible person she will have to live with killing. Haymitch, Mags and then Finn would be the kills that would break her heart. What would be left of her to go home? Peeta would sure get no prize if she won.

"I am sorry Katniss." Finn says softly.

"New plan Finn. You can kill me right?" Katniss looks up in his face with hope.

Finnick looks down unable to meet her eyes. He nods. "Not this minute, but…"

"But you want to go home to her, the one in the poem? I don't want to go home. So we hunt the others down and then…" she swallows.

"I can't kill Mags. She was my mentor…still is." He says defeated.

Katniss glances at the sleeping woman. "I will. I will make it fast, but then you will be mad enough, that I won't be so hard. But we hunt the others first. We….I have to go before Haymitch. You will have to fight it out with him. He's wily Finn."

"Yeah. Been my friend for a long time. Hope they enjoy it, because when it's done…" He leans in as if he's crying or kissing her neck. "I am going to burn the Captol to the ground. I will make this stop. The rebels will have a new face and Peeta and I will make them pay. That's my end of the deal."

Katniss smiles. She nodds, genuinely liking this pretty man for the first time. "What do we need to do?"

"Lets get some sponsors Katniss Everdeen." Finn leans in to her stopping an inch from her face. "He will forgive us. Peeta will understand. He will know it's for the cameras." He whispers the last.

She blushes, not pleased with this turn of events, but knowing he is right. Imperceptibly she moves. Finn waits and it takes almost a full minute for their lips to brush. Finn brings his hand up to her cheek, and softly cups her face. He is a master at the perfect screen kiss and Katniss finds his lips are much less unpleasant than she had imagined. They kiss playfully, teasing each other, knowing it means nothing. But it looks good on camera. On camera, it is breaking hearts.

Peeta watched Katniss launch. He saw the very blow that killed Cinna. He screamed at the screen as helplessly as she had. Finnick and Mags and Haymitch would watch over her. He should have guessed Finn would be involved. But the banter had actually been great and the sponsors were eating up the girl who rejected Finnick Odair. Money had appeared for Haymitch's booze even though it was outrageous, he could send him five more bottles right now they were so popular. It had been a record day for the games.

Then it changed. Haymitch stood stoically for four hours while the others had rested. It was as if he'd turned to stone. His face had transformed before Peeta's eyes. Blank became his expression, then he left them. He walked away from Katniss and didn't even look back. But Haymitch had become something. He had begun hunting the others like a career would. He was stealthy and silent and by the time the record was broken, he was responsible for five kills. He was a ghost, calculating and sadistic. Haymitch could indeed use a bow and arrow. He was as good, if not better, than Katniss. A silence had begun to fill the war room as Haymitch murdered Johanna Mason.

Her mentor stood in disgust. "That old son of a goat! He slept with her. Peeta Your fabulous drunkard tribute just killed a girl her he…..Abernathy you are one dead little…..Peeta You might want to check your girl and Finnick Odair."

Peeta moved back the screen; he focused back to the group. They were on their three-hour camp. Mags snoozes on a beach matt while Finnick and Katniss practically needed a rating. They were in the water, locked together in oblivious passion. They made this arena look like a vacation. The audience loved them. Peeta began to drink.

Effie relieved him, to allow him a few hours of sleep, but it was the booze that knocked him out, not need of sleep. At first he had assumed it was just a play for the camera, but it has become entirely something else. He couldn't get the image of Katniss and Finnick out of his head. He almost hated Haymitch right this minute. He slept through the main show.

Katniss and Finnick were in the water with only the under things they'd been issued. Finnick gave her directions so softly the cameras could not pick up that there was nothing going on. Finnick was used to making motions that the audience would interpret as more. The audience assumed they were watching Finnick Odair seduce the little girl the rebels called the mockingjay. What they actually saw was acting. The water blurred the figures enough that Finnick could direct her without the supposed event taking place.

"Throw your head back and pretend your in pain, then shudder a little." He whispered. "This is going to hurt a little Princess." He said out loud for the cameras. He pulled her to him hard enough that it did shock her. She pulled off 'frightened 'well enough and made a squeak. "Now hold still until I tell you." He said barely above the waves.

Katniss kissed him again and he slowly began to rock her softly in the water. He kissed her up her jaw line and to her neck. "Ok big finish here, I am going to pinch you and I want you to make a lot of noise and then collapse to my neck, then I will give them their money shot. Then we see if we have enough.?"

There would be a bruise where Finn pinched her, but she winced and cried out on queue and he threw his head back and his classic fake howl sounded for the audience. They grinned at each other, both thinking it the best joke in the universe. "The boards will be lighting up now." He said loud enough that any sponsors missing the point would jump to accommodate them.

"It's almost dark Finn. You don't think they could see us do you?" Katniss said bashfully, really hoping that Peeta realized that nothing just happened.

"So what if they did. One of us has nothing to worry about and the other will just have to live with it." He said full of swashbuckling bravado.

"I hate to break this up but it's time to move on." She says timidly.

He tucks his face to her again as if giving her love nips. "Walk a little offish, you will be soar." She rolls her eyes and does as she is told.

They wake Mags. Finn stands up. "we need a good meal and a tub of orange juice. While you're at it, send us a pair of night goggles."

Finn wanders the shore as they wait for the packages. He returns to the matt and uses his knife to crack up open the oysters he has collected. Mags slurps them down with relish. The box arrives first, followed by a gallon of juice. Finnick reaches for the box when an arrow slams into the side.

"Next one is in your head Odair, how dare you touch her." A voice sounds from the forest.

Katniss doesn't think she just runs. She stands in front of Finnick desperate to protect him. "Haymitch, come out where we can see you."

"Not a chance baby doll. Move, he's next."

Finnick calls toward the forest. "Come on out, we have plenty to share. Last meal for the condemned and then you can do what you think you need to!"

Katniss adds, "Please Papa, just listen at least?" She watches the third parachute descend near Mags.

For several minutes there is no response. Then as the trumpets begin to sound, Haymitch Abernathy limps from the forest. Katniss runs to him and throws her arms around him. "What were you thinking sweetheart." He says with disgust.

"I was acting for the cameras. Nothing happened. Wasn't real." She whispers while planting a kiss on his cheek.

He gives her a calculating look. "Alright Katniss, if he's what you wanted." He says with clipped diction.

They are treated to congratulations for a record day. Then they have dinner on the beach as fifteen names and faces light up the sky. Mags gobbles bread and oysters. When she finds a pearl in one she hands it to Katniss. "or You to member ole Mags."

Katniss has tears in her eyes wishing she had something to give the old lady in return. "I will remember you forever." She gives her a hug. Katniss hated herself for what she'd promised Finn. She vows to give the old woman a good quick death. She tucked the pearl into her zipper pocket after using a bit of the silver parachute to wrap it up. She uses the action to wipe tears from her eyes unnoticed..

"So what have you done all day." Katniss asks carefully.

Haymitch chews on the salty district four bread. He is covered in grit, gore and stench. "Killing my friends sweetness. Killing them all. Getting this crap over with. Sooner the better. Not as good of a day as you appear to have had." He sighs and reaches into the box and removes a lemon to squeeze onto his smoked fish.

"Only nine left on the first day. May be done tomorrow." Finnick says quietly.

"Not maybe. Will be. I expect to be done by noon, but we will meet here on the beach again. We could have another last dinner, slaughter each other with class."

Finnick and Katniss look at each other. Haymitch watches them, his eyes calculating. He stands. "Don't make plans Katniss, you aren't much good at it. Do like I told you. And thanks for dinner." He stands up winks and without another word he disappears into the forest again.

"He lost his mind, hasn't he?" Finnick says quietly.

Katniss nods. "Come on, we need to go we have climbing to do."

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><p><strong>So whos it gonna be Hay and Finn - Kat and Hay - Kat and Finn - no matter what, I imagine it's going to be unbearable - actually I know It will be - remember -mean god here -grin. Keep reading little ones….And do review<strong>


	3. Chapter 3 red red wine

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 3 (red red wine)**

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><p><em><strong>Red, red wine<strong>_  
><em><strong>Stay close to me<strong>_

_**Don't let me be alone. It's tearin' apart**_  
><em><strong>My blue, blue heart - UB40 – Panem Museum Of Antique Songs<strong>_

Katniss watched Haymitch walk away. It made her angry that he walked away for the second time. She watched the spot where he vanished willing him to just come back. She kept hoping he would change his mind, if she just believed in him hard enough. Finnick was at her arm and finally made her stop watching the forest.

They gathered up the food and the drinks and weapons and headed up into the jungle. Katniss carried Mags part of the way, just to give Finnick some rest. It wasn't long before she could not continue in the rough terrain, even though Mags weighed next to nothing, Katniss didn't weigh much more. Finnick used the night vision goggles.

There was little she could do other than stay aware and keep her bow ready. Finnick has to use a machete to hack a path through the dense jungle. The going was slow and Finn was losing coordination in his constant exertion. They were on a break when they heard a mortar fire. Katniss felt sick, worried it would be tomorrow until she would know if it was Haymitch. How could he leave them?

"I don't know if we should hope or not. I hope he's ok, but at the same time…" Finnick said.

"If it's not him, then one of us will have to. And I can't." Katniss replied in a daze. "We should just rest a while. The going will be easier when we can see."

Finn lay palm fronds out for Mags and covered her with more. She snored softly in minutes. "You should rest too."

"I am too upset to try. Just not climbing feels pretty good." Katniss scooted over to Finnick and he leaned up against some bushes. He put his arm around her and she allowed it. She was surprised that he trembled. "Tell me about her? How did you know you loved her?"

Finnick Odair told Katniss all about his life. Sometimes the stories were funny, sometimes sad. He spoke of true love and told her how the capital had tortured him for years, selling him like a bit of pretty live stock. He spoke of Haymitch and how he'd been so stubborn but they kept killing people around him until he'd finally given in just like everyone. "They will do it to you and Peeta too Katniss, if you were to survive. If not, they will do it to Peeta. If I don't win they will do it to her too. My Annie"

Katniss felt so bleak, she couldn't stand it. "Then you have to win Finnick and help Peeta if you can." With that, she drifted off into exhaustion. She dreamed of killing Haymitch and it woke her with a start.

Dawn is just graying the sky. It was tomorrow. She wondered if Haymitch existed now or was Peeta sitting alone crying. She hoped it hadn't dawned on him yet that if Haymitch was dead, she wouldn't be coming back either. A noise startled her and she saw movement in the shadow. She moved slowly but raised her bow as a face leapt upon them. She didn't think, she just reacted and an arrow to the eye dropped the figure to the ground. Finnick woke at her movement and cried out as he recognized, Chaff, lying in agony but not yet dead, sword still in his hand. He was no longer black and his cloths were no longer blue. Chaff looked like he'd been dipped in red paint. The cannon finally boomed. Now they were seven.

They moved on, so the hovercraft could collect the body. The jungle seemed to level out a little and Finnick was making good progress by the time the sun rose full in the sky. Mags reaches out from time to time to pluck nuts off trees, that she cracks and eats with great relish.

"Mag's you're leaving a trail of shells that will lead the bad things to us, you know, and those things could be poison." Katniss says.

Mags talks with her mouth full to the point Katniss can't figure out what she has said. "I guess we will find out when you have the collywobbles Mags. Not carrying you then." Finnick says with a grin. "Course you are right about the shell trail, not like anyone could follow this massive path I am hacking out of the big ole plants, or the stench of some of them…it will be the shells that lead them….."

Finnick and Mags blew into her, knocking her down. He was hacking away one minute, and then he was on the ground, his eyes open, but no longer breathing. She had no idea what had happened, but something had sucked the life out of both Finnick and Mags. She whimpered, shook them both, cried and finally she looked at Finnick's face. She could see his pupils were not the same size and as she listened to each of their chests, the two cannons fired.

Boom, Boom.

She kissed Finn and closed his eyes. Then kissed Mags and closed her eyes. She didn't have any idea what killed them. But she knew she couldn't go that way. She picked up one of Finnick's tridents on a whim. It felt heavy and solid in her hands. Somehow the trident in her hand felt like Finn and Mags would come with her. She had no flowers for them, but she raised her fingers to her lips and bid them farewell and whistled Rues four note 'time to go home' song. She had seen an old man die for that in eleven, and she would probably die for it now, but they had been trying to kill her for a long time. "Missed me again." She said to the sky.

As dreadfully sorry they were both dead, as she was, it was a grateful relief she felt, that she had not had to kill them. Still, this brought up another real problem, Haymitch. Things he had said over the last few days were jumping in her head. She focused on him, to keep from thinking about Cinna, Finn, Mags, Chaff, and even Brutis. They had all been people and had loved ones. The thought of the girl, Finnick would never return to, is what finally brought her to tears. That girl, would think she had been with her Finnick. She vowed that if she did happen to live, she was going to have to explain. That poor girl had just watched the one she loves die. Like, Peeta would have to watch her. Peeta. Could what Finn said, be true?

Katniss nestled into a huge clump of foliage and curled up like a ball, she cried where she knew the cameras couldn't see her. Sleep was all she wanted. She pretended she was with Haymitch and Peeta, instead of alone. A cannon wakes her. Four of us left. She sat up in her little green cocoon. Another cannon sounded and that made three she thought.

Flys. Swat. Boom. We are nothing but flies, buzzing around for the amusement of the maggots in the capitol complex and their minions in the Capital City. The colorful flies who swirl around the biggest pile of pooh have all the power and the little plain flies serve them. Some as avoxes, some as entertainment and some as whores, but they all serve. What if they stopped? If there are more of us, why do we put up with this?

Katniss sang brightly as she made her way down the path. They had fought so hard to climb the mountain and died anyway. Down hill on a precut path was easier, what was the use of slashing the jungle. Alone she could slip through the jungle unseen, silently, and even that was more than the effort required to march toward death. She was not running any longer, she would no longer give her life to please the unappeasable, or cow to the maggots. Katniss Everdeen is Cinna's girl on fire, Haymitches babydoll, The saver of Primrose, Gales best friend, Peeta's true love but she could be more. She would be the girl who marchs to her death with a song on her lips, not hiding who she was for them any longer, but showing them who she'd always been. She is not a maggot's toy any more, and now, she took up this trident of Finn's. If she found anyone other than Haymitch down there, she would live and the maggots would curse the day they made a mockingjay. Maggots are delicious to mockingjays.

What stepped out on the beach was no longer a little child. She carried in her, the heart of a man from the sea and the mind of a brilliant drunk who she'd probably never see again and the courage of a man who set her on fire. She carried a lot of things at that moment, but mostly she carried on.

The beach was peaceful, but something had brought a ton of driftwood up to the shore. She planted Finnick's trident in the sand and hooked her arrows and quiver on it, she wanted them to see that she was not fighting just yet. She gathered driftwood and made a huge pile. She was going out as a bonfire, not a little candle blown out in the wind. She looked at the sky. "Who wants to see the final three sit down to a last supper then slaughter each other for your fun and enjoyment. Send us your favorite yummy, oh and some sugar cubes and I want a drink, like a Haymitch drink and send matches Peeta, time to set fire to some old wood. Before I die, I would like to taste that district four and district eleven bread if someone could do that. I wish for some of Peeta's good cheese bread, but I know he won't have time. I love you Peeta, thanks for everything."

The matches arrive first, but the wood is so damp the fire won't stay lit. When the familiar bottle of ripper's home brewed white spirit arrives Katniss grins. "Well Papa, you are probably gone already, so if you are, call this sending you a snort." A quarter of the bottle is poured on the wood and when the match is lit, the fire whooshes to life. Katniss drinks deeply, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. She can imagine Peeta's look of disapproval. "Hey, you sent it…"

Face blank, she sits by the fire and stares at it. If he sent this, maybe, Haymitch is alive. If he is, she will get to see him. If he is, they may have to kill each other. Which is worse? Maybe one of the careers still existed. Maybe whoever number three is, will kill one of us and it won't be just us two. The final box is huge, more like a trunk. Katniss unpacks it's contents. A sturdy matt and linen table cloth are on top. Katniss laughs at the lavish offering. People want to see this last show, play out. She lays the three places of china dishes and stemware. It looks romantic on this beach with the huge bonfire and the lovely water. She sets out the food and wine. She takes out the candles, tucked in jars so that they won't be blown out.

_A note.-_

_A feast for three, then you will be two. The final two may then enjoy an evening of conversation and rest. We have suspended all gamemaker tools until noon tomorrow. Give us the showdown at high noon that we all are looking forward to and there will be extra rewards for the victor. Fail and we will all be so very disappointed. Best wishes, Lanus._

Katniss read the note several times. So they wanted one to die after dinner, then a full out battle between the last two. Fine, but who the heck was Lanus? Katniss pulled the stuffing out of the crate and in the bottom was one last item. A long florist box. Then, she got it.

Katnis didn't let the cameras see the shiver of revulsion that went through her. She lifted her head to the sky holding the six magnificent white roses in her arms pretending to be pleased. In a soft, not Katniss voice she spoke. "Thank you Mr. President. They are perfect. I will try to make it worth your trouble."

Katniss lifted the crystal vase and used her own meager water for the flowers. She set them right in the middle of the 'table'. She set the note under the vase so whoever showed up could read it. She couldn't let herself show the tears she wanted to cry as she realized who one name would have to be. Haymitch must be alive and they wanted to watch two monsters kill each other. Then, stripping down to the t-shirt and shorts, Katniss went into the water, using the sand to scrub herself she felt refreshed and left her hair loose, the salt in the water made it curl a little and the wind perked it up in a way she thought looked free and different from her restrained self.

She was just emerging from the water when her first guest arrived. Her heart sunk slightly. The morphline addict came strolling up the beach, skitchy and in withdrawals. That explained the painkillers. It had seemed an odd thing for a feast, unless someone was severely injured, which was the point of the hunger games. She watched the girl, all covered in horrible scabs, wander absently up the beach. She seemed to fear the forest for some reason. Finally Katniss took pity on her and lead her to the fire.

"This must be for you." Katniss said handing the box to the girl.

The girl lunged at the box and her shaky need did nothing to dispel her smooth skill with the syringe. She has a needle jabbed in her arm within seconds and her eyes roll back and she shudders in a strange parody of Finnick from yesterday. Katniss stood and walked up the beach just a few steps, too embarrassed to watch the girl moan in relief. Her eyes scanned the beach for the one she knew must be her final enemy.

Walking away from Katniss was a mistake. There had been three cannons from the mountain. He had to live with the fact that Odair, Mags and Katniss were dead. He had heard the cannon, he now knew was hers, and had gone on, but two more took his heart. He knew those three were the only ones on the mountain.

He had found the place where there was blood, then where the belongings were dropped along the force field. Finnick's things were still there, his tridents, the net he'd used to carry old Mags. It didn't tell him for certain that Finnick had murdered her, but he obviously bought it at the force field. He imagined Finn stabbed Katniss with his trident as she slept, then he and Mags went only a few yards before the force field had killed them. The machete lay right where Finnick had dropped it. He'd called and called Katniss, like a maniac. He returned to the place stained with her blood and something in him lost his ability to even think of it. He had killed her, by leaving her. He wanted no forgiveness. He wanted to find Chaff and let him end this. He wanted to tell Peeta he was sorry, but he'd failed so what was the point. The boy was either waiting to watch him die, or district twelve already had no mentor.

Chaff and one of the morphlings were all that were left. He'd killed the others. He'd murdered people he had cared about for nothing. Poor Nuts and Volts, that was the most heinous of his kills. Chaff and he would sit down and have a last drink, and then it would be over. He had been combing the island for Chaff, with no luck. When he'd seen the smoke down on the beach he knew Chaff was calling him and he'd been trudging along toward death every since.

Haymitch is having some trouble making progress. He has injuries, painful but not life threatening enough to be of any value. He'd also been sipping the second bottle and having eaten nothing and lost his water in a fight, he was not in the best shape for trucking through the jungle. He had to rest, every time Katniss came into his mind and she was as annoying as ever with her constant butting in to his thoughts.

Some how he'd managed a nap and he'd dreamed of her. He dreamed he was there as Finnick smiled at her. He had taken the trident and touched her with it, rousing her just enough to see her betrayal coming. He had probably smiled and whispered he was sorry to her, before thrusting his weapon into her heart. Had she cried out as she died? Did he hold her and comfort her or did he just stand there and smile, watching her leave the world with the same face he'd given his friends?

Couldn't be mad at Finn. He was dead for one thing; the force field had saved Haymitch that horror of killing him. But, he had heard her begging him not to leave that morning. He had left her again that evening after the food. She had stood at the edge of the woods last night, not willing to call to him again, but her little face had begged. She'd stood there until Finnick pulled her away. He could hunt them faster alone, but he didn't expect Finn to calculate so quickly and end her. It was foolish of him to trust that heathen water wart to wait until it had to be done.

The jabberjays had picked up her voice and he screamed as he listened to her singing. They had all seemed focused on her and it was the heartbreak of walking through the gauntlet of a thousand Katniss choir, knowing they don't have choirs where Haymitch was heading. Even that eternal fate seemed comforting after this life.

Haymitch finally reaches the beach and he sees the morphling girl by the fire. The one he lives and dies for, stands so still, he doesn't notice her looking at him. He blinks, certain it is just a ghost.

Haymitch stops dead when he sees Katniss, but it is the look in his face that keeps her from approaching him. He looks just like Cato, dead already except for hate.

Only when he sinks to his knees and screams does she run to him. She holds her hands out, trying to gentle a creature driven mad with pain. "Haymitch, it's me Katniss. I have food again. It is just us three. They sent it to us, because I think the games are too fast this year. Can you give me your hand?" She says quickly but smoothly.

"Katniss, your dead. Boom. Boom. Boom. On the mountain and the blood. Finn killed you and it is my fault." He mumbles.

Katniss slowly moves closer and when she touches him it is like he's been jolted with ice water. His eyes clear and he stands and sweeps her into his arms with a war whoop and covers her face with the last joyful fatherly kisses she will ever know.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4

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><p><strong>I have been trying to upload chapter two, but we are in the middle of the tornado mess so not much is working well with our Internet. Will update as soon as it lets me. I know sorry about Finn and Mags, but there is no Rebel hovercraft to save them and Katniss didn't know CPR – had only seen her mother attempt it a few times. So fate delivered that blow and saved her from having to kill or be killed by dear Finn. Of course red wine was my symbol for all the blood poor Hay had to spill and it has made him a little blue hearted.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4  wayward son

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 4 (wayward son)**

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><p><em><strong>Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay you weary head to rest. Don't ya cry no more…. Kansas - Antique song museum of Panem.<strong>_

Haymitch smells horrible. He is the stench of battle. Katniss doesn't care; he is alive for the moment. "I thought I had lost you babydoll. I thought only Chaff and the Morphline girl were left. I searched for you? I found the force field, is that how?"

She nods. "Finn and Mags…" her chin quivers in sorrow. "I killed Chaff, arrow in his eye. We were sleeping and he came at us with a sword, he was all red with blood."

"The blood rain. He got caught in it, I see the morphline got caught in the acid fog." He sighs against her. "I thought I failed you and Peeta, thank devils and demons you are alive."

"I worried about you all day. Every cannon."

"Where were you, I called and called. I followed the trail the three of you left, twice. I was out of my mind." He says finally letting her feet touch the sand.

"I think I was asleep then. I didn't wake until the two cannons sounded." She let go of him but refused to break contact. He put his arm around her shoulder protectively.

They began to walk and Haymitch's limp is more pronounced than she'd noticed at first. "Nuts and Volts…worst thing I ever had to do."

"I am so sorry." She said meaning it. We have morphline if you are in pain, and a bottle of Ripper's. Come on, get in the water and clean up, then we will eat."

"Aghhhh, Peeta is a good man."

Katniss looks away, "it isn't all from Peeta. The feast is from Snow. There is a note. Instructions."

Haymitch threw his makeshift packs and weapons onto the ground. He stripped out of his shredded uniform and splashed into the calm seawater. He took his time, using the sand to scrub away the muck and gore. He stayed under the water, liking the way the sound was muffled. The sensation is enjoyable until he realized his wounded leg was bleeding again. The leg wound, from a clip on the calf by a spear, is one thing that looked better, covered in gore. He returned to the beach, saw the look of concern on Katniss' face and thought it was funny she worried about the spear hole, when she would have to deliver worse so soon. He will have to demand that she endure, exactly the thing, he already knew he was not strong enough to live with himself. Haymitch knows he could not survive killing her. He wonders if he can stand to execute his real plan. He wonders if she will find success.

He sits down, unable to cross his legs due to the gushing of the wound. He didn't wait for the others, he simply began piling his plate with sugared fruits, pastry, thinly sliced meats, stuffed mushrooms, and cheese. He took a tiny wedge shaped greenish bread. He opened the first wine bottle and poured the blood red liquid into the glasses. "To gentle death and eternal love." His eyes soft and full of his heart, locked on Katniss.

She nodded and handed him the note. "This is what they want."

Haymitch scanned the words and smirked with humor."It is actually better than I expected. I had hoped it would not come down to this, but I always knew it had to. No other way to guarantee the out comes. Can't trust someone else with you. I was certain Finn had betrayed me. I will do the necessary thing, then we will have a few hours of peace before you do what you must."

"About that. I have changed my mind." Katniss says with stubborn resolve written on her face.

"In what way, sweetheart? Method or motivation." He says as if what she is saying is laughable.

"Both. I am sending you home." Katniss' voice barely registers above a whisper.

"No." His eyes enjoy a surge of power. "We will talk about this later, but don't assume I can live long with my recent activities. Remember what I told you."

Katniss sighs; nodding there would be more discussion. The Morphling Girl, decides to use a larger dose of her drugs. Katniss frowns but Haymitch rolls his eyes and gives her a look telling her how stupid that is.

"I miss everyone. It was fun in training. Lets swim. Look at the pretty colors." She said in a far away lilting childish voice. Katniss smiled and they walked to the shore and splashed water at each other and playfully chased each other. Haymitch grinned at the display of girlish silliness in this horrible place of splendor. But that smile did not reach his eyes. The eyes were calculating and watchful.

"It's like swimming in a rainbow!" the mindless girl giggles, delightfully oblivious to the predator approaching her as she floats and bobs blissfully in the sparkling water and sun.

Haymitch stood next to the morphling girl and without changing expression; he reaches out and grasps her throat. With no warning or emotion, he forces her head under the gentle waves. There is a kind, fatherly smile on his face as he looks down at her face, just two inches under luminously clear water. Her eyes open wide in fear as bubbles escape her nose and mouth in a burbling scream.

"Haymitch No!" Katniss says in horror. She steps forward to stop him then realizes it would only postpone it for a few minutes at best. Her hand flies to her face, she turns away from the sight.

He meets the, flailing helplessly in death, panicked girl's eyes and his face is mild and pleasant. The girl's struggles become frantic. "No, don't you look away from me little girl. This is an easy death compared to what I have done for you Katniss. You look me in the face…"

Katniss spins, tears in her eyes, "Or what, You will smile and drowned me next?" Katniss glares at him defiantly. His eyes are monster gray but she does not look away. She crosses her arms, as she sees the playful girl can no longer controls her movements. The girls body begins it's natural ballet of death as living nerves give way to eternal silent decay.

"At noon tomorrow, one of us will have to kill the other. That is just a fact, sweetheart. I don't want to argue," The cannon booms. Now it is official, there are only two tributes standing. "…about this all night. We have only so long, in which to pack everything we need forever and say good-bye. True, no matter which of us it is." He never looks back down at the girl, he only releases her and gives her body a seaward shove. His actions say he has tossed away a bit of unwanted trash.

Katniss watches the girl, her mouth open, fixed eyes wide, break the surface as she slides toward the launch pads. She turns from Haymitch and stumbling, lurching and not caring, sloshes up on the shore. Standing by the fire, dripping in misery, not wanting to have ever seen Haymitch kill with such unfeeling dead eyes, Katniss feels like nothing can ever be right again for her. Her mind can't help but flash through every possible method she can think of to kill Haymitch Abernathy.

She could slice his throat and watch him bleed out.. An arrow through his eye would be relatively fast, but it seems too horrible after watching Chaff shudder and scream for almost three minutes this morning. In the heart would be fast, but he might choke on the blood and that would not be a memory she could stand to dream every night for the rest of her life. She could overdose him on Morphline, but him holding out his arm while she stuck him would hardly be the showdown the note demanded.

There was no easy way to make this happen. He could just strangle her. She wouldn't want to drown and being sliced up didn't sound like a good way either. Katniss laughed, hysteria giving her voice a giddy pitch.. "Welcome to hell." Katniss says as the hovercraft arrives.

She couldn't help but jerk away from the comforting hand that touched her shoulder. The hand that had just murdered a girl with no more feeling than washing cloths, sent shivers of revulsion down her spine. Katniss spun to look at Haymitch.

"I know sweetheart. I am there, resolved to hellfire and welcoming it with every ounce of my soul. I can't stay here. Our plan is almost done. I have a few hours and I can hang on that long, but I see it in your eyes. I am nothing but a fiend now, to you. What you are going to have to do is necessary. It's practically a kindness to me. Do it now if it will make it easier for you." Haymitch holds out his arms as if inviting either a hug or death.

"How? How do I kill you? Even this minute I love you. If it were anyone else, other than Finnick and Mags, it wouldn't hurt so much." She tilted her head, a puppy quizzing a porcupine.

"If it were anyone else, I would already be dead and you would not escape this arena without a scratch. This is what I promised Peeta. He didn't believe in me. Could it be any easier if he'd stood in my place now? I was right Katniss. We are right. I trust you to be skillful. A little pain is worth it to save you. Sing for me and I won't feel a thing." Haymitch's arms still stay open, waiting on her decision.

Those eyes twinkling with the embers of the bonfire, melt her fury. He has done all of this for her. She takes two steps toward him and softly wraps her arms around his waist and closes her eyes. "I don't think I am strong enough, Papa Bear, not for this."

"I will help you sweetheart. I will figure out what you need to make it happen. Trust me." He kisses the top of her head, and then plants his chin in that spot. He closes his eyes so she can't see the tears, but the cameras pick them up and all of Panem is riding the fun of the emotional drama playing out on screen.

Peeta Mellark watched the monitor in the now nearly deserted war room. The camera crew waits to give him the signal that his interview is live. He wears the caked makeup with placid annoyance. It reminds him to hide all he ever was. He keeps his face neutral with pure will. He refuses to react to the banter going on in the capital feed. He didn't dare show the shattered state of his heart. He is dead now, not killed physically, but his heart no longer beat, except for show.

"Well Caesar, this has been one of the most exciting games in memory. We are down to old Iron Hearted Haymitch Abernathy, winner of the second Quell and his own tribute from last year, one of the most popular victor's ever to step into the ring, Miss Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire. Coming up we have an interview with this years district twelve mentor and the fiancé of the little spitfire herself. I can say that never have we had such a record setting Game."

Bobious Barkworth sits next to Caesar in an emerald green suit. He has bright yellow hair that he carefully combs into his eyes. He flicks his head from side to side repeatedly trying to look attractive, but to Peeta, he just looks like he needs a comb. "It has been a year of firsts, that is for sure. This game is down to the wire in a record 31 hours. Lets take a look at the exciting chain of events that has lead up to the final showdown, then we will join one of the most beloved victors of all time, Peeta Mellark. He has graciously joined us from the war room of the Games. We begin with the unexpected announcement of the victor pool. Now at first everyone was horrified at the idea, but experienced tributes have proven to deliver quite an electrifying show. This has been no day of child's splay and no place for the faint of heart."

Caesar responds through his polished teeth and the studio lights must be especially bright because he blinks too often."My goodness yes. Who would have imagined the wisdom of this Quell? The game makers have out done themselves this year, as have our talented tributes. I have to say, I was just on the edge of my seat, watching darling little Katniss give her virginity to Finnick Odair just hours before his tragic death."

Bobious frowned and looked physically ill. "That was a disappointment. I hope the Game Makers rethink that force field in the future. It was just heartbreaking to see an unintended loss like that." He shakes his head as if the emotion is almost to much for him. "Finnick was strong and we all looked forward to his many challenges within this arena."

They show a picture of Finnick draped on some capital woman, looking like he's toasted on several levels. Caesar shakes his head and wipes a tear from his cheek. "I know he would be satisfied with his performance, but he was the favorite to win. That is one of the records, unheard of records, in this game, smallest arena of all time.. Finn- O was no newcomer; he is an experienced mentor with two victors of his own under his belt, but this arena is the smallest tightest, most frustratingly dynamic plan in the history of the games. So there is no way he could have expected that twist. Force fields have never been deadly except during the fiftieth quell where Abernathy exploited the feature to win his title."

Bobious looked stunned as if he had a secret to share with the audience."I had not even put that together Caesar, you don't suppose Master of the Games, Heavensbee added that feature, of the highly deadly force field, just to prevent Iron Heart from exploiting it again do you?"

Claudius looked wise and nods his head. "I have to say, it would make perfect sense if he did. But it did backfire in Odair's case. I think it was one of the great possible showdowns of this game that was simply wiped out by error. Iron Heart has proven himself to be a deadly factor. Nobody really expected him to step up and shine. Finn-o and Iron Heart would have been something to see. We knew Katniss and Finnick were planning to fight it out in the end. That would have been one heck of a battle. The illicit lovers, giving way to the beauty of the ultimate last dance."

Bobious gets a silly expression on his face, as if he's remembered something scandalous. "I can't wait to find out how Mellark feels about watching that event. Got to hurt to see your true love be seduced by the Playboy of Panem."

Claudius grins."He can't be that upset with her, after all he arranged this whole last showdown with our beloved President. He knows what happens in the games is a whole other world. I bet he still marries her if she wins."

Bobious shrugs and shakes his head with confusion."And there you have another extraordinary twist. What is up with the whole Papa Bear stuff? We all saw that spark of the May-December romance going on, so you just have to ask yourself, who is playing who in that relationship? Iron Heart was very unhappy about the Show in the water. We were all so enamored with that main event footage, but lets take a peek at Haymitch as he lurks in the forest witnessing Katniss and Finnick's moment of ardor. "

Claudius gives a shudder of fright for everyone's amusement. " Look at the cold eyes and the fury. Iron Heart is shaking in anger here. Even though he pretends to calm down, notice he again breaks the alliance, to be the solitary predator of the woods. You have to wonder, what cards he is holding. He has such a pokerfaced demeanor, that all this love and affection could be just a show. I mean he knows what a lethal little competitor she is, hell he trained her, and everyone knows there is some unspeakable closeness between them. It was even noticeable in the first games."

There is footage of Haymitch and Katniss on the chariots. Bobious looks constipated. It is meant to look contemplative and sly, but it doesn't work. "Yes and they have always had a level of communication near telepathy. You have to wonder if she is indeed her mentor's masterpiece. If so, what runs under the currents of this supposed mutual adoration?"

Claudius pastes 'interested' on his face. "Undeniably intriguing. After all, they both keep professing that they can't kill the other, yet if sacrificing himself or herself had been either player's true intention, you have to wonder why they didn't just give up. No sir, this is a whole new sort of game this year and these two are the most unpredictable crafty competitors in the history of the games. You have all this profound sentiment mixed into two very cunning, experienced, bittersweet strategists and All I can say is, her promising to make this worth President Snow's trouble has proven to me she still plans to go home, no matter what she tells Haymitch."

Bobious shakes his head as if his hair might stay out of his eyes for more than a split second. "We know either could win. The betting has gone wild, another record in fact, Katniss is the favorite by a wide margin, but still, Haymitch has wiped the board on all betting within the history of the games. Does that tell you how very big this Quell has turned out? It seems clever Haymitch has not drank himself into near the ruin we all assumed he had. Did you see the brutality between he and district two? Look at Abernathy's power and skill here as he literally takes the carrers out like a man of twenty-five instead of forty. Then you see him with that spear stuck to the bone and still he fights. I have heard of battle fugue, but he is just incredible. I think everyone forgot who he is, and it has worked to his advantage. His young mentor, sends him alcohol. Iron Heart Abernathy. is no drunken bum here, he seems fueled by it. Wow what an amazing show he's given us?"

Claudius nods in agreement then his dazzling smile appears again on cue. "Lets bring the district twelve mentor up and see what insight he can give us on his very amazing team of tributes." Caesar Flickerman turns to another camera angle and smoothly segues into the interview. "Peeta have we got you with us?"

Peeta smiles softly and looks directly into the camera, comfortable and confident, if still a little modest. "I am happy to be here Caesar, I only have time due to the generous feast and respite our Makers and President have provided."

"Yes, is a rather unprecedented twist, any insight into the thought behind that ?" Caesar moves some papers on his desk.

"President Snow is a huge fan of the games and he always jumps in to offer his guidance and thoughtful help in keeping the games both traditional and innovative. He feels the glory and pride of these events should never be compromised, and we all owe him a great debt, for his knowledge and his level of commitment to this Panem institution." Peeta sounds like a perfect capitol creature.

"You seem to have great respect for the president, despite having to watch your fiancée struggle through another arena. No bitter words or regret?" Caesar makes a skeptical face, which resembles someone just stabbed in the armpit more than anything.

Peeta grins as if explaining something to small children. "The Quells were planned long in advance and everyone knows he had no malevolent intent toward Katniss and I personally. He has done nothing but show us his consideration and even took the time to visit us in twelve before our tour to discuss our future and how we could both be of service to Panem." Peeta smirks and winks at the camera.

"We have to ask Peeta. You watched her with Finnick Odair. What went through your mind at that moment?"

Peeta pauses for just a split second. "It was a terribly hurtful moment for me, I can't lie about that. But things are different in the arena. You can't see it unless you have been there, but each moment is so uncertain, that every emotion and occurrence take on a brilliant hew. If Finnick were alive, I would punch him in the face, but I do know he was a great man, very dear to Haymitch, so if Haymitch didn't deck him on the spot, I can't hold his actions against him either."

"That is a very forgiving attitude Peeta. What about Katniss, can you forgive her as well?"

Peeta looks directly into the camera. "There is nothing to forgive. The games are the games and the actions there, can't be judged on this side of the camera. I won't second guess my tributes choices provided the action does not get them killed."

"Good answer Peeta. That's why they love you out there in fan land. Honestly, what can you tell us about the Katniss-Haymitch relationship? Whom are you betting on?" Caesar winks at his camera as if he can see only one answer and the audience will agree with him no matter what..

"I honestly don't know what to say here, because they have always been on a different level somehow. I never really knew if it was a fatherly sort of thing or if there were romantic undercurrents, because the rough eddies of those two, is more about battle than affection. One minute they are laughing, but bickering is the true pastime of the two of them. If this battle had not been forced on camera, I have to wonder how much longer I could have prevented it back home. They are both very volatile people and they don't improve with liquor." The people in the studio chuckle at this revelation of personal intrigue between the last two tributes. " They both have that victor personality, and our village is a small place to harbor two such people. They butt heads all the time, but we all love each other."

"But you must hope that she prevails, or have you lost some of your blind adoration for the girl who has played into the final two for the second year in a row?" Caesars' face blanches at the fact, a girl would have to be a deadly creature, to win twice. It is obvious Caesar is afraid of her.

"I love Katniss with all my heart. Nothing has changed. Nothing will. I hope to see her again, in person. I think she is much more in tune with where she stands with Haymitch then I could ever guess. After all, when he was searching for her, she decided not to answer him. I have to say she must have been following some instinct that told her staying hidden was important." Peeta chews his lips. He doesn't want to say what he really thinks of this whole show.

"Anything you would like to say about your tributes before we head back to the evening feature of our count down to the showdown?"

Peeta chewed his lip for aanother second then plastered a viciously brilliant smile on his face. "I can't wait to see how Heavensbee could possibly top this season, but if he needs an apprentice, I would love to let him know that a one legged baker would jump for joy if selected."

Caesar laughs as if he has heard good news. "We will pass that on Peeta, we will pass it on. You know you have it in the bag, one way or another so congratulations on you districts victory. Thank you for taking the time to be with us. And for our audience, thank you for inviting us into your home. That's is it for us until after the final squall tomorrow, stay tuned here for updates and weather information between the Iron and Fire of the seventy-fifth hunger games. "

The programming returns to Haymitch and Katniss, laying by a still roaring fire, both of them relaxed and dreamily staring into the cameras, talking about the stars. A bottle passes back and forth occasionally. Katniss proves to Peeta what she has spent her last year learning to do. He wonders how much time she'd spent at Haymitch's house without his knowledge, beings she belted down the liquor with the panache and relish of Haymitch himself.

"Haymitch, do you think Peeta will still love me? After this is over, I mean?"

"I don't know. You will have some things that you will have to explain to him. I would like to think he will."

"I wish I could believe it. I wish I knew how it would all be." The girls voice wavers a little, but her face stays calm.

Haymitch regards her. "Katniss, there will be things happen, that you will be angry that I didn't explain to you. There will be things that will be required of you, that I won't be there to protect you from any more."

Her face is shadowed with the fire behind her, but Haymitch sees the familiar lines of her scowl. "Like Finnick told me?" she asks carefully.

"Yes sweetheart. You and Peeta. I won't be there to stop it now." She can see the lamentation he is trying so hard not to show.

"Did that happen to you?"

"Yes. I took on more, to bargain a little more time for you both."

Katniss drops her eyes. "And we wasted it."

He smiles. "No you didn't. You were my little girl. I had a family again. Not a waste to me."

"I wish I had known you liked me. I would have tried to be nicer."

Haymitch took her hand. "What would have been the fun of that, sweetheart?" He falls back to the sand smirking.

She giggled. Then her face again became serious. "I wish I could thank you for everything. I wish we had it all to do again. How can I ever stop owing you?"

Haymitch looked at her for a long time. "Kiss me." He barely whispers.

"What?" She looks at him like he's insane.

"You heard me. Lean over here and kiss me, like you still see me as a man and not just a monstrous ogre." He squeezes her hand. "Please."

She hesitates so long he is sure she won't do it. Then she leans over and under the privacy of her curtain of hair, her lips close on his in the darkness of the night. He tucks his chin away and presses his mouth to her ear, as he slides his hand up and cups the back of her head. "Just like Finn, sweetheart, fool the cameras."

She begins to slowly move her head to the slight direction of his fingers as he whispers in her ear, conveying information he must pass on if it is not to be lost.

"When you return, There is a book I want you to have. I think you and Peeta are the ones who can end this. End Snow, end the games, if you are willing. I have fought for twenty-five years. There are others. The book will be your key. In my room, under the dresser, there is a small compartment that hides this treasure of information. If you don't want this to be your fight, get the book to Heavensbee at least."

Katniss carefully crawls on top of Haymitch, pretending to be a little tipsy and he groans as if this is what he wanted all along. He slides his other hand up her shirt, rubbing the skin of her back and they continue to pretend passion, while exchanging only secrets instead. Though the outward signs were two people in early excitement, Haymitch did not have any stirring for her and they both were in complete control. In front of all of Panem, Katniss and Haymitch plan rebellion.

By the time they stop charting the map of the end, making the audience believe in the next events that must occur, is easy. It was all flawlessly innocent and deliciously in the wrong at the same time.

"I want you Katniss," He hisses suggestively for the cameras.

Her breath gasps and she sways drunkenly. "I want you too. I want you to like me." She says with a pronounced slur.

Haymitch rolls on top of her and begins leaving trails of kisses on her throat and moving his hands around her body, though she moans as if she enjoys his touch, his fingers never make contact with any of her intimate places. She grows quiet.

"Katniss, take off your shorts. My beautiful Babydoll. Katniss? Katniss wake up?" he slaps her face gently and rapidly to rouse her. She does not respond. He sits up and drags her up shaking her. "You are kidding me. Katniss wake up!"

He sighs heavily. He is angry, and bellows like a spoiled child. "I ought to take you anyway you drunken little fool. I ought to kill you this minute." He lets her fall back to the sand, passed out and beyond the arena. "That wouldn't be much fun in either case now. I wanted you to know it. Sweetheart."

Katniss sighs happily in her pretend blackout. Haymitch squeezes her hand an she squeezes back. Haymitch keeps drinking, until he too closes his eyes.

Peeta watches them sleep. He is drinking too, but the liquor doesn't have any desired effect on him. The girl he loved since he was five years old, has finally disappointed him, and the man he trusted his life to, showed who he really was to the whole of Panem.

A woman with a silly color of hair sits next to Peeta in the cavernous empty mentors war room. She has held this boy together as best she can, but she sees the signs. Haymitch has replaced himself. She may spend the next ten years stuck in district twelve, but if Haymitch dies later this morning, as they have planned, there will barely be a ripple of change. There will simply be two shattered drunks at the district twelve control-pod, instead of one. Effie wonders if the boy will try to kiss her by next year, or if it will take two years before all decorum and courtly gentility will be liquored out of him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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><p><strong>I had to create Bobious Barksworth for the interview to work, thinking halftime football banter - lol. Ok warning you - the next chapter is done and it is just terrible, horrifying and you probably shouldn't read it. Seriously - you have been warned and yelling at me because I gave you nightmares isn't technically a review…..evil grin.<strong>

**I love the fake smooching while they plan rebellion….hope that does not offend - the pairing isn't actually paired - but to whisper secrets, you must have an excuse to be realllllly close.**


	5. Chapter 5 Kiss of fire

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 5 (kiss of fire)**

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><p><em>Violence warning and some language – the end is near – I don't think this crosses into M but there are some suggestions of mature subjects.<em>

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><p><em><strong>I touch your lips and all at once the sparks go flying<strong>_  
><em><strong>Those devil lips that know so well the art of lying<strong>_  
><em><strong>And though I see the danger, still the flame grows higher<strong>_  
><em><strong>I know I must surrender to your kiss of fire<strong>_

_**Louis Armstrong -Kiss of fire - Antique Song Museum of Panem**_

Katniss wakes with her head on fire. The throbbing of her brain combined with the vile, unbearable sunlight makes her wish that she were already dead. Her eyes slit open to the sight of Haymitch with a needle in his arm and his eyes rolling as he pushes the plunger of the syringe.

"Haymitch?" She whispers, fearing he's committing suicide and praying that he is at the same time. "What are you doing?"

He smirks. "Giving you a fighting chance sweetheart. Sleep well?" He removed the needle and tosses it away. His leg looks nasty.

"What time is it."

"Ten bells. Two hours until the final cannon must sound." He says covered in sweat and looking rough.

"My head." She says and lies back down.

He lifts her arm and she feels the jab of the needle. She opens her eyes but doesn't fight. If he knocks her out, he will have to kill her.

"Don't get excited, If I wanted to kill you while you were out, I would have done it by now. Just taking the edge off that hangover so you won't miss." He says with a smile.

The relief is immediate. Katniss sits up and stares at the water. "I wonder if anything can really take the edge off?"

"No." He says standing up. "Nothing I ever found did. I hope you find something that will. I hope you will think kindly of me someday. I won't ever haunt you. I might watch over you, but I won't haunt you."

He hands her a can of fruit juice they had not bothered with last night. The syrupy drink tastes good. "I am going for a swim. Want to join me?" She asks without looking.

"Sure but it won't do. They want to see battle, not you holding my head underwater."

She frowns. "I think your safe, after all you out weigh me by about another me. How would I hold you under?" She picks up Finn's trident, intending to try to spear a fish with it just to see if she can.

Haymitch smiles. "Finn would be delighted, with your choice."

Katniss looks back at him confused, and sees his eyes flick to the weapon in her hand. She laughs, one Ha, before it isn't a joke anymore. "He gave me lessons."

"I remember. You sucked." Haymitch steps deliberately into striking distance, testing her resolve.

"Yeah. But it could be worse. He could be here trying to kill you with a bow." She says searching the shallows for a fish to poke at.

"Your point?" Haymitch says diving in the water.

"So much for the fish." Katniss grumbles. "The point is you just scared all the fish away you ox."

"There is plenty of food if you're hungry." Haymitch gestures toward the camp.

"No. I just wanted to, get calm." She says tossing the trident at a brilliant blue streak she sees in the water. She misses it, but she likes the way it feels to release the surge of energy. She retrieves the trident and looks back at the beach. The water has refreshed her, but she is just too jittery to stick on any task. She picks up a stick and pokes at the fire, surprised that it is still hot. She fiddles with it, then took the basket of bread and absently chewed on the dark district 11 loaf, thinking of Rue.

Thoughts of Rue lead to thoughts of Cinna, which lead to thoughts of Mags and Finnick. All her dead ones march through her mind. Then those she would leave behind came to the stage and she thought of Prim for the first time since this nightmare began, without it being in reference to the jabberjays. She turned her gray eyes skyward. "I love you little duck. Tuck in your shirt. Gale don't let her see this." She kissed her three fingers to Gale knowing he would understand all it conveyed. "Either outcome …..she can't watch. Please. Prim just go water Haymitch's garden, please don't see us. Gale will tell you. Peeta? I am glad you are not here. I hope you can forgive us. If it's him, be kind to him."

Haymitch dumped a load of dampish driftwood by the fire. He piled the wood up and the fire roared to life. He held out his hand to Katniss. "Found this. Thought it was pretty. Thought you might keep it. Look at it sometimes."

Katniss took the small pink shell from his hand and nodded. She opened her uniform pocket and tucked the little shell in with the pearl. She had rinsed out her uniform and she now put it back on, as Haymitch watched her, regret in his eyes.

Haymitch walked to his pack and removed a large knife. He put his own tattered uniform back on. He tucked the knife into his waist went to the ruins of last nights picnic and poured the glasses full of the last of the open white liquor. There was another whole bottle, but they would never have time to drink it. "Last drink together."

Katniss stood up and accepted the offered glass. She leaned on the trident, weak with fear and adrenaline. This is really happening. Eleven bells tolled across the water.

Haymitch held up the glass and cheerfully smiled at her. "I am proud of you my little mockingjay. I know you will carry on. Peeta, you have done well. I love you both."

Katniss couldn't speak, so instead she drank. The glasses were drained in one shot. Katniss looked at the empty glass for a moment, unable to meet Haymitch's eyes. He threw his glass in the fire. Katniss followed.

"Time to play, sweetheart." He walked, limp extremely noticeable, down onto the beach and drew his knife, waiting for her silently.

With a sigh, she followed. She stood there facing him and waiting, unsure what she should do. This was impossible. None of her instincts kicked in. She felt stupid.

Haymitch's eyes began growing colder and it gave Katniss the chills, watching him transform. Knowing, one way or another, she'd seen the last light of love and kindness fade from his face, was the hardest thing she'd seen in her life. Harder than Gale being beaten, Haymitch unfeeling hurt worse.

"Well make your move, don't stand there like you don't know what this is about." He says gruffly.

She half-heartedly raised her trident and lunged at him. Haymitch grabbed the trident pulled it hard, forcing her to lose her balance and as she lurched forward, he had her arm and wedged it up her back painfully and a held his knife at her throat in a split second. "You're not even trying. I trained you better than this. I have just slit your throat, how do you think Peeta took it?"

A shiver ran down her spine as she felt the knife actually cut her skin. She gave a yelp of surprise and struggled against him, but he had her helpless. "If you don't fight me, I am going to rape you then kill you, in front of them all. Fight me you selfish little fool." He shoves her so hard that she lands in a heap.

She picked up her trident, now at least slightly wary of him. She touches the stinging place on her neck and surpise is evident when she sees the generous amount of blood leaking from her. He could have killed her, but he'd cut her like he enjoyed it. "No you won't. It won't work Haymitch. I love you. " She shrugged looking up at him helplessly.

He smiled but it was an evil hurtful thing that curled onto his face. "Do you? You don't even know me. You don't know anyone. You are so skilled at hiding, that you don't even know anything about another living person around you."

She stood up and sighed. "I do know you. Enough to get what you are trying to do, but it won't work."

"Really? Katniss, have you ever wondered why we are so much alike? I have. But of course I know why we are. You know your mother and I were friends once? My fellow tribute, was her best friend. Your mother, was very pretty once. Your Daddy was a nothing. He was no good, Katniss. He had some habits, when he was young, which got them in trouble from time to time. She used to come to my house. I used to give her money."

Katniss had a blank look on her face. "Your not trying to imply…" her eyes narrowed at him and she scowled.

"There. That look. I am not implying anything Katniss. I am telling you I was with your mother and that joyful union, for me, produced a child. You get that scowl from me. She didn't enjoy my attention that much, but she did like the money. I don't have to take your daddies place Katniss. He took mine. I wonder if someone figured it out or if Prim really was called fair and square."

"Stop it. You wouldn't have… last night, if I was your daughter."

"Wouldn't I. Why not? You mean nothing to me, just like your mother. You're just like her you know, dutiful and pathetic to the core. You and your half sister, and neither one of you fathered by the loser you called Daddy. Neither one of you even claimed by those who she had to take money from just to eat. You know nothing about anyone, Katniss. You are blind to the world with your little boy troubles and your self-righteous pride. Has it never crossed your mind who Prim looks like? Why his mother would hate you with such venom? It never bothered you that your darling Peeta was already related to you by blood? His father and your mother made a child and you took her place in the Reaping last year."

"Stop it Haymitch. You are hurting people with this. It's a lie."

"It isn't a lie. Think Katniss? Think. I am not hurting a soul. They made the decisions. I am only speaking truth. They all know. Only you are the infantile, bumpkin so trusting and pure, your stupidity hurts the eyes."

"No. It can't be true. You can't prove any of it. You're just making this up to upset me." She whispers, but in her mind she can't erase the fear. The blood drums beat in her ears. They are beating a new rhythm of hate and she can't help but wonder just a little, if she could have missed something so huge. She never knew how Peeta felt, if she could miss that, what else did she not know?

Haymitch looks at the ground for a long time. "So you want proof? Go home and ask them. Ask your mother. Ask Peeta's Daddy." His eyes look up and the cruelty shines with vivid malice. "Or, you could ask the jabberjays. You see, I know where they got the sound of your sister. I know what made her cry. I know what made her scream Katniss."

"What are you saying? I don't understand…"

"It was at my house. The capital recorded it, at my house. She's such a pretty little thing. So sweet. You lost something to Finnick. Your sister lost something to me. Not by choice of course. Those sounds were real. You didn't even notice. Right under your nose and you didn't even notice."

"You couldn't. You couldn't be that much of a …" the drums were coming. She would lose herself in them. She could feel them hammering in her ears and fingertips and her chest sounded her wrath. A dangerous thing crawled into her mind. She had felt it before but this time she just didn't have the concentration to quell its fury.

"What? Monster? I think I have established that I am. The question is, will you fight now? Or, are you going to send me home to continue making her scream for her dead sister. The sister who never rescued her anyway? You didn't keep little Prim safe from me. You can't do it, can you? I like it when she screams your name. She never even tattled on me, because I threatened to hurt you. So who is the big hero now Katniss? Who….."

A growl erupted from Katniss. The jabberjays. Prim's screams of terror. Prim leaving Haymitch's house and hopping over the bed of flowers she had planted for him. The trident didn't come up until the last second. She had no intention of throwing it. Throwing it would not have any satisfaction in feeling it vibrate as it stuck into his heart.

Haymitch made an airy hiss. He is surprised at first then he smiles a little. "There it is. You did it sweetheart." He reached out to let her help him ease to the ground, but she sidestepped as she yanked the trident out of his chest. He falls like a tree hit by lighting. His knife tumbled from his fingertips. The pain lit his face with sweat and then a new emotion registered as the trident came down on him again. He looked up helplessly at her and she smiled at him and yanked it out again.

Katniss was free and the hated thing screamed like sweet music. His flesh was hers to sever and savor. She picked up the big knife that lay beside him and brought it down to him again and again. She skillfully brought pain, not death. He chanted between his songs but she let the drums rule her. Boom boom boom boom. The sound of the dying. Dieing wasn't good enough for the hated thing. There was so much more she could give. There was one bottle of alcohol left. She walked up and picked it up.

The thing didn't understand when she brought it to him. He was going to ingest it, but she had better plans. She carefully drizzled it into his wounds, pouring it in his face as he bled helplessly from countless red and yellow holes. He was singing again as it burned the places she had opened. It trickled into him and the pretty sounds he made were louder, but he still didn't quite understand. His breath was coming quickly. She had to hurry.

She looked into the hated things sparkling gray eyes, and for a moment she almost stopped. They were not afraid enough or pained enough. There was sad love staring at her, shaking his head. "Please. No. Please, sweetheart."

Just like Prim had said to the hated thing. She smiles at him as she remembers the stick in her hand. She throws the stick at the hated thing and watches the flames leap from it to the one who sings. "Your beautiful as you burn. Sweetheart." She says to him, watching him with a smile of contentment, as he writhes in agony. He even tries to crawl to the water, but she kicks him in his bubbling face. He didn't keep crawling, but it was way after the boom, that he finally quit moving.

BOOM

The announcement was a little somber. "Congratulations Katniss Everdeen, you have won the Quell" the trumpets sounded like they had throat ulcers.

She stepped onto the ladder, trident in hand. They confiscated it from her as soon as she entered the craft. "Hey, I want that back. And don't wipe it up. I want his blood on it. It is a present for my sister. Anybody have a drink? I need a damned drink."

She calmly lets them restrain her. She answers the questions they ask. Two days later she is looking into Peeta's blue eyes. The drums have stopped now. She swallows. "Hi" she says calmly.

"How do you feel Katniss?"

"I feel like I just won the Quell."

His eyes drop to the floor. "you won."

Katniss looked at Peeta as if he was lying to her. Her head moved to the side but her eyes stayed on him. "Where's Haymitch?"

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><p><strong>I hate this story. Did I just kill Haymitch? Boom. Couple more layers, then we are done. Ewww bet you hate the chapter title now…..told you not to read it. (lyrics are important if I bother to include them -hehehe) think back to chapter one -who will have mercy? -Katniss didn't - death did.<strong>

**Ok now you can yell at me – If you killed my Haymitch I would yell at you! You will have to keep reading now - so you can find out the big picture.**

**(*)V(*) (lemons are more fun, sniff!)**

**Please don't send me the evil eye – the tornados have just missed me so far and there are more on the way. Don't you just hope he doesn't keep his promise and he does freaking haunt her? Mean god… over and out.**


	6. Chapter 6 comes a hunger

**THE LIE**

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><p><em>Ok I am wrapping three assignments -the last three -yeah! into this story - because it's easier to bend stuff for me - so Haybaby has done something unforgivably dark -any guesses what it was ? I have killed the character and now his influence on other characters must be shown - lol - easy peasy - then its back to my real stories for a while -cause I don't know - Woody man -whew -Charlie Sheen is Haymitch -lol. I guess they have to keep the makeup crew employed -I mean what would they have had to do to Charlie? thell him to grow his hair out a bit? <em>

_ But hey Woody is not a total_ bad choice -I can live with him. He does have one of the most sarcastic smiles in the history of naughty -but ya know Haymitch was supposed to be smart - like really smart -please tell me you have ever seen Woody play something besides the nice duffus? sometimes with a Baaston twang - sometimes with a Caaboy sound -but the same basic guy?

Ok, well, this chapter has a surprise or five for you - so get to reading...

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**(Comes a hunger)**

_**Some say love, it is a hunger**_

_**And all who eat must bleed.**_

_**Just remember darkest winter**_  
><em><strong>far beneath the bitter snows,<strong>_  
><em><strong>hidden roots,<strong>_  
><em><strong>that with the sun's fire, in the spring becomes The Rose.<strong>_

_**Unknown partial song lyrics – The Antique Song Museum of Panem**_

"Where is Haymitch? Peeta who, got him?"

Peeta's eyes are locked on Katniss, his head shakes and his mouth is open but no sound comes out.

"Peeta? Just answer me!" Katniss is becoming upset by the strange look on his face.

"What do you remember Katniss?" he whispers wringing the gloves in his hand.

"I woke up. He gave me the shot for my hangover. We swam. Wait, if we were the last two and I am…."Kaniss' face goes blank. "There was a monster from the sea. I did things to a monster. It crawled up on shore when the drums came. Did it kill Haymitch? Did the monster get him?"

"It's ok Katniss. Yes a monster got him, but he provoked you and he knew what that stuff might do. You had a reaction." Peeta whispered, holding the girl who is still trying to understand that Haymitch is gone.

"You're saying that I killed him? I killed him." She is beginning to shake.

"Oh Katniss. I have to tell you. I am sorry. So sorry." Peeta fights tears and sucks air in and out of his lungs preparing to explain. "I have to tell you, so you don't see it on your interview tomorrow, unprepared. Katniss, you didn't just kill him. You tortured him to death. The final count is eighty-seven non-lethal wounds. You stabbed and cut him eighty-seven times. But it was the fire that, finally let it end. You burned him to death. It was just the most horrible thing I have ever seen. There are no words and it was our Haymitch…It's going to be horrible for you to see. But he gave you the Roid and the things he said…"

"I hurt him? Me. I hurt him." Katniss' eyes are so wide she looks like she about to explode.

"There is more. Please just let me tell you. He said things."

"What things?"

"He said he was your father. He said that Prim was my sister and he said that he had hurt her, Prim, in a terrible way. In a way that a man should never hurt a little girl." Peeta says carefully. "It was too much. You just seemed to be devoured with it. But there are other repercussions."

"What? What else could there be?" Katniss demands, feeling sick.

"My mother. She.. My mother committed suicide three hours after the games ended. Your Mother and Prim are in protective custody, until we get back."

"No. Why?"

"Katniss, a lynch mob came after them. People liked Haymitch and it was. I can't describe how awful. How evil it has been. There was a riot."

"It's a lie. Peeta I would have died for him. I wanted him to win. I couldn't hurt him and he couldn't…."

"I know. I know. But he made me send him something that night. He explained it before he left. He was afraid you would end up trying to die instead of …if you and he were the final two, he made me promise. It went through your system and you just stopped being…."

"Human?" Kaniss whispers unable to cry.

"Katniss." He sucks his breath in shaky and hopeless. "He took them too. He shouldn't have mixed them. I think he knew it would… and the things he told you…it was…"Peeta's shoulders heave in sorrow, face buried in his hands, he is beyond any ability to speak.

Katniss feels nothing. It is not real. It is all just an unfocused picture without any meaning. "Are those things he said true?" she asks cool and distant.

"It seems. Uhemmm…. it seems they are." Peeta says ashamed.

Prim adored Haymitch and he seemed to adore having her around. She had spent hours in front of his house planting pretty little flowers and making his house look a little less like it belonged in the seam. Katniss had walked in on them dozens of time and she had thought they were a good influence on each other. Haymitch had books, an entire room of them and Prim would curl up on the couch next to him and Haymitch would read to her, wearing these funny granny glasses. Haymitch never looked at Prim in a way that would have made Katniss suspect anything horrible. Prim didn't avoid him or look at him with fear.

Katniss never knocked. The door was never locked. They had played cards and strange board games. Haymitch was most usually sober around Prim. Even drunk, Prim simply took him in stride and smiled at him affectionately. She had sought him out. How could he hurt her? How had she missed it all? Haymitch had always seemed so gentle around Prim.

Katniss thought about the cold look in his eye as he murdered the morphline girl. Had he saved that look for Prim and then tried to make it up to her? The Jabber jays. The Jabberjays. The mockingjay. Iron heart. Book. The book. Ashes. It was all ashes now. She had burned him alive. They would make her watch it.

"I need to see him." Katniss says reasonably. I will see my father. The father.

Peeta is holding his head in his hands and his face snaps up in horror. "Katniss you can't. Sweetheart he's dead." He digs his knuckles into his eyes. "The um, remains are unviewable. It's a sealed coffin."

"Then UN seal it. I have to see. Or there will be no interview." Katniss says darkly.

"Miss Everdeen, what on earth do you mean about no interview?" President Snow entered the room. Security guards flanking him, a huge bouquet of multicolored roses in his hands, he glared at her with disapproval.

Katniss lit her face up with a smile, which brought a disgusted look to Peeta's face for a split second. She held her arms out to President Snow. "President Snow! How sweet of you."

Unused to being welcomed into the arms of young ladies without great force applied, he stood there for a second like a raccoon caught in a lamplight. "In the games, your roses meant so much to me, I know how special they are." She let her chin wobble just a bit.

Cautiously he set the roses aside and bent to her, startled that she seemed to not be revolted by his presence. When she planted a kiss on his cheek , he smiled and his dead blue snake eyes narrowed at her. "I want to know what makes you think that you have any choice about interviews?" Blood and roses, his smell assaulted her.

"I made a simple request and if I get no cooperation, I give none." She says soft and flirty, almost like something Finnick would say.

Peeta swallows in horror. "Katniss, no."

Snow regards her with cool distaste. "And your request was?"

"I want to see Haymitch. I want to prepare myself for the interview. If I can't see him, get used to it, know it is real, I take a chance of not making a good impression." Katniss looks at President Snow like a naughty angel. She whispers to him. "Lanus, I don't want to embarrass you."

"Really." He pulls his mouth down forming unintended jowls. "I would be happy to escort you to the mortuary personally."

Katniss smiles and takes his hand timidly. "Thank you."

"I will be most interested in your reaction to the body, Miss Everdeen." He says nastily.

"Are you displeased?"

He tilted his head, lost in her game. "No. I am not displeased. You crushed a thorn in my side rather spectacularly. Please bring a chair, we shall go now."

Peeta stepped forward, "but she only woke up a few minutes ago."

"You may go with us, if you like." Snow answers simply.

"It is ok, Peeta. President Snow and I have a lot to talk about. Go see about your family. I am so sorry about your mother." Katniss says in a dismissive tone. She plucks a deep red rose from the bouquet and smells it.

Peeta frowns at her. Katniss reaches out and takes Snows hand again. "Thank you for the beautiful roses."

Snow can't quite hide his delighted blush. He looks at her as if seeing her for the first time. "You are quite welcome, Miss Everdeen."

"When it is just us, I wish you would call me Katniss. Save the formal, for the cameras." She meets his eyes, and smiles at the cold dead snake. He looks at her, face placid, warning her that she doesn't fool him.

They wheel into a cold room. A deep blue casket, a victor's casket, with gold fittings and a victors seal sits in the dimly lit room alone. Katniss, wearing hospital scrubs stands carefully. "Prepare yourself Katniss. Your work was an inspiration in wanton cruelty."

He keys the seal tab. The enormous lid groans as the contents become visible. Katniss can't control her breath as she gasps at the gruesome thing before her they say is Haymitch. Forcing herself to make her face placid she steps up to the body. She searches it for any semblance of the person it is said to be.

The hair is gone and the facial features, though now painted have no connection to the man she knew. Silently she reaches her hand out and tentatively closes her eyes. The flesh has hardened, but with her eyes closed the lines are familiar. She slides her arm around his waist as she always had and lays her head on his chest. The heart is silent, but her nerves have identified the lines of him. "papa bear." Her lips form the words but no sound escapes.

The end of the Quell, flashes into her mind. His pain, so brilliant, seeps into her memory like acid. His song of screaming agony assaults her mind. His words break her heart all over again. She remembered the fire, cracking his skin. She can still smell him burn. She can smell it now under the chemicals and perfumes. Haymitch had died in her fire. But, she burned on. She lay the rose tenderly in his casket and mouthed the words, "I promise."

"He died well my dear. In glory." Snow says quietly.

Katniss stands and kisses her fingers and places it on the ruined lips. She turns to Snow and looks at him. She steps forward and he opens his arms just a fraction. She takes another step and slips her arms around his waist. He is clumsy in his attempted comfort, but she tries not to breath his sickening smell, as she sobs silently. "I am sorry." She says backing away and sniffling. "Thank you."

"I have to ask you…Katniss. Has he ever mentioned the arrangements my victors have?"

"Yes." She says sitting back in the wheeled chair and looking at Haymitch, forcing herself to cool her heart. That thing hurt Prim.

"Then you know I will require the same of you?" He circles her, head tilted observing her carefully.

"You won't want to, with me." Katniss says softly. Why follow the plan of a monster, but if it works, it would please Finn.

He smiles. "Please don't make me take things you love from you, to force this."

"That right there, was one of the few things you could have hurt me with." She points at the casket.

"Peeta, Gale, Your mother, Prim." He whispers.

She laughs. "Yes, Prim. You can use her against me. But, he took her from me, didn't he? Beat you to it and if you kill her now, it would almost be a blessing. If you ask it of me, Lanus, I will do anything for you, out of respect, not fear. But I don't think you can take what I really love from me. Even you don't have that power. Haymitch must have kept my secret. He was the only one who knew, who I really need. He knew who I love."

"I am intrigued." He says in confusion.

"When I was little I used to watch Television and I fell in love with someone I had no way to ever meet. Then I was put in the games and I met him and I knew at once, nothing else would ever matter to me. He is not understood by many people, but I see him. I see the things he has to do, and I know that some of them are kind things. People don't see him. He has such burdens. He goes out of his way to be kind. You can't take him from me. Even if he never figures out that I am alive. That is your only leverage against me."

"I am at a loss. I can't imagine whom you could mean. Was it someone in the Quell? Finnick Odair maybe?"

Katniss laughs. "Finnick was my friend. He guessed who I really loved, but I lied. He was with me in the Quell. At least I felt he was. But I can't tell you who. You will laugh at me. If you guess, I will do as you ask. I don't dare until that time. Forcing this could be a danger to you. He is insanely, fatally jealous."

"A puzzle. How delicious. It must be someone in the capital?"

"It is. You figure it out. I will comply. Until that time, not me, not Peeta and not Annie Cresta."

"But you must give me a new hint, wait, no. This will be too fun. I will watch you like a hawk and I will find out. It is a delicious challenge. I accept. Now, when I do figure it out, you will submit to my demands, without question?"

"I agree." Katniss says with a smile.

"How do I know you won't lie?"

"Because when you figure it, out all the bits will fall into place. You will understand my actions better. You will know. If you give up, I will tell you immediately and then you will know instantly, I am telling you the truth. If you give up? You have my immediate cooperation as long as you require it, no question asked ever, but not Peeta or Annie ever. You give up and they are safe for all time in every way. Those are my terms."

"Why would you protect them and not yourself?"

"Haymitch and Finnick. It is what they would want. I am going to prove them wrong."

"But, not you?"

Katniss laughs. "Did you watch what I did to him? I loved him. I never needed his protection and I don't need it now. He was a foolish broken child playing big boy. But he reached my limit when he told me he had…..hurt Prim. He knew I would never forgive him for it. I don't think he knew the consequences. To bad for him. He cost himself an easy quick death."

"You knew him well. But you kept saying that you wanted him to win." Snow says with amusement.

Katniss smiled at him. "I told him everything. I wanted him to win, because I knew what he didn't. I knew who I could become."

"And what exactly is that? What can you become?" He demands.

"I will answer that when our bet is ended." She says meeting his eyes with cool amusement.

Snow laughed. He shook his head at the girl before him, deciding he genuinely liked her. She was a puzzle and there was nothing he loved more than puzzles. His mind flexed and spun in the mad joy of her stimulating game. She loved someone and he wanted to win this bet. She had no concept of his resources and when she lost, he was going to make what she did to Haymitch look like gentle love pats. Annie Cresta was no great loss and Peeta would probably only last a few weeks before his tender soul would find a way to slip from the world, but Katniss Everdeen, that prize would outshine Haymitch and Finnick in revenue.

Feeling munificent, Snow wheeled her chair silently through the halls. A smile played on his lips as he thought of his next move.

"Taking me to the torture chambers?" Katniss asks with amusement.

"I have a gift for you. You may do with it as you like. Consider it a small thank you, for our budding friendship." He chuckled silently as they entered a double door and a long hallway appeared. This place looked like a medical facility to the damned. It smelled of bitterness and bile. The odor stuck in the back of her throat and breathing through her mouth didn't help, for that allowed her to taste the noxious particles floating in the air.

Half way down a scream could be heard, muffled and yet jeeringly sharp. Katniss looked through the window at the naked man, strapped with no dignity and completely helpless to the four-winged table, eyes squinted in pain. She stood and looked questioningly at Snow. " I thought you killed him. You are giving me Cinna?"

Another scream erupted from Cinna and Katniss flinched. Snow knocked on the window and both the room's occupants looked out the window. Cinna's eyes fell on Katniss and he began to weep piteously, not for himself, but for the poor girl he knew would soon be strapped next to him. Of course they could get information out of him now. He would tell them anything to not hear her screams. He had been strong until now. For Cinna, all was now lost.

"Have I guessed? Could your love be Cinna?" Snow says with smugness.

Katniss threw her head back and laughed. "Not likely Lanus. I am not his type. I am very fond of him. I need him for my interview. He's a good stylist."

"He is a rebellious creature who has nearly cost you your life with his innuendo." Snow hisses.

Katniss grinned and winked at Mr. Snow. She tipped up on her toes. "Do you really think he's that smart?" She whispers in his ear, "Do you think he is really so capable of those silly fashion statements, without Haymitch guiding him? Why do you think I talked Haymitch into joining me in the Quell? You didn't really think this sweet puffball had anything to do with it all….did you?" She covered her mouth, eyes dancing as she fought the need to explode with girlish giggles.

"You are not angry that I have tortured him all this time?" He asks lost at her response.

"Well, you saw me. You were not under the time limit you put on me." She purrs with a shrug. She steps through the doors without invitation. Snow follows her arms crossed over his chest. "Is he really for me? I can do anything I want to him?"

Snow lets a tiny smile play on his lips. "Anything you want Katniss. Your orders. He is your slave. You own him. Now what will you do with that?"

Katniss chews her lip with a grin. "First I am going to make him tell you the truth, so you will know." She turns to Cinna and reaches out her hand, gently caressing his face. "Poor Cinna. How are you feeling."

"Katniss, I don't understand. Run. They will do this to you, don't you…."He is hyperventilating in fear and confusion. He is shivering with pain and sweat.

"shhhhhh. It's ok. You are going to be fine, if you just tell the truth. Cinna, Haymitch is dead, you don't have to protect him any more. I killed him. I burned him alive in the arena. I know all the things he was forcing you to do." She says dripping malicious threat wrapped in soft instructions.

"You don't know what your saying…"Cinna moans.

Katniss walks to a table at the side of the room. She fiddles with the various instruments. She chooses the least offensive, a whip with nine strands. She tries to cover how she is shaking with hatred and grief and most of all terror. "Oh Look, a Cat of nine tales." She shows it to Snow. "Perfect wouldn't you agree?"

He cloaks a snicker, and then has to retrieve his handkerchief as a coughing fit takes him. Katniss is at his side, concern on her face. He waves her away wanting her to continue.

She waits until he seems recovered and just for a second pats his shoulder in comfort. Then she turns to Cinna, eyes carefully avoiding his shameful exposure. She takes a deep calming breath.

The chamber master makes a snort through his nose. "You won't get a word out of him with that little thing." He advises.

Katniss locks eyes with him for just a moment. "Don't be so sure. Sometimes the hand that delivers the pain is as important as the pain." She says as if this should be obvious. "He loves me. He loved Haymitch, which was why the old man could use him so brutally and demand things from him that he really didn't understand." She leans over Cinna and lets the whip dangle along his chest menacingly. " Now, All you have to do is tell the truth my friend. Lie and I will hurt you. I already know the truth about Haymitch. I know he was behind all of it. He told me about the berries and demanded we pull that idiot stunt. You knew it didn't you. You stood right there when he told us to do it."

Cinna looked at her, face filled with confusion. "No. I don't know what your…"

Katniss didn't hesitate. She didn't dare play mercy. She brought the whip down hard on Cinna, leaving welts across his chest. He didn't scream, but the hurt in his eyes as he hissed was terrible payment enough to her heart. "Please don't make me, make you of no value to me. You are mine now. Do you understand that you are only a few lies away from Avox. Don't be a fool Cinna. I have no use for a silent stylist. Stop playing noble. Haymitch and Finnick Odair were the entire rebellion. They used us against our will. They made us pawns and left us here under suspicion. They used everyone. Don't die for Haymitch. You are my slave now. I own you and I want to make things as pleasant as possible for you. I don't want an avox. President Snow will let me keep you, but I won't have you near me if he thinks you are the corruption. I will see you dead first. I will do it myself this minute. So make up your mind."

Cinna hesitates, then a spark of hope dawns there in his tearful eyes. "It's true. Katniss I am so sorry. I never wanted him to hurt you."

Snow steps up next to Cinna and glares down at him. "Are you saying this girl has been working against you? You handed her information about the water in the games."

Cinna nods and turns his face away. "I don't know who left it, Haymitch knew there would be a hint left at a certain place, I was to deliver it to her. Every step he took she tried to fix. She has done nothing but cause Haymitch problems. He has threatened to kill her, wanted her to be a martyr. But the Quell, it seemed like the best plan."

Cinna continued to follow Katniss' lead, laying blame upon Haymitch. Katniss turned to Snow at last and winked at him. "So do I really get to keep him? I would like him to make me a dress I like for once, and he's not going to have much time."

"Cinna, do you agree to obey your master? She has just saved your tongue and more than likely your life. I will pay attention. Do not disobey her. She is your every breath from this moment on."

Cinna's eyes fall on Katniss. They are dark with disgust as he agrees to his new life.

"Please have him cleaned up, dressed and delivered to my room. I have noted all damage; I want him delivered with no further injury. Oh and may I keep this?" Katniss orders and holds up the whip.

"Take you choices. Will you require shackles?" The chamber master asks respectfully.

"I have my own, but thank you. This should be more than enough." She says trying to convey to Cinna that things were not what they must seem.

Snow wheels her down the hallway toward her hospital room. "Do you like your gift, Katniss?"

"Very much. I am sure he won't like twelve much, but I will like having him around. He's very quiet and unobtrusive. Thank you deeply."

"You are welcome. You are one of the few people I honestly enjoy being around. Would you consider having dinner with me this evening? After you get settled into your room of course." Snow asks softly.

"I would love to actually. I like being around you too." She says and pats his hand lightly. The first part of Haymitch's plan has unexpectedly saved Cinna's life. She can smile as if she is truly thrilled, because she is. Peeta will be so pleased to see him.. "Oh wait. Peeta, his mother. Maybe I should wait. Can we make it lunch tomorrow instead? I mean it would be kind of cold to go have fun when he's…"

"No. But you may invite him if you wish. I have a full day tomorrow with the interviews."

"I understand. Tonight it is then."

Peeta drunkenly paces the hospital room, not knowing what to do. He has no idea what to think when Snow and Katniss arrive laughing like old friends. Peeta was terrified Snow was murdering her. They show up as if having a holiday after breaking into Haymitch's coffin. They have been out, doing what, with a whip?

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><p><strong>Ok- see now ya gotta forgive me - I brought you Cinna<strong>  
><strong>and he just got out of one mess and into another - My Kat of nine tails - has a cold heart - or does she? lol. Hope you are enjoying - yes I am ninja -or djinn - or missing some vital medication -lol THANK YOU ALL FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWS!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7 broken watch

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 7**

**(broken watch)**

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><p><em><strong>You're everything I thought you never were<strong>_  
><em><strong>And nothing like I thought you could have been<strong>_  
><em><strong>But still, you live inside of me, so tell me how is that?<strong>_  
><em><strong>You're the only one I wish I could forget<strong>_

_**Beyonce Knowles – broken hearted girl - Antique Song Museum of Panem**_

Peeta pushes Katniss in her chair to the assigned rooms. Here they are, back in the training center again, and it seems empty without Haymitch. Katniss must feel it to, but it must be horrible for her. He wonders if this whole thing has broken her mentally. In the corner of her room is a trident, covered in gore. Not just gore. Haymitch's blood. Ragged drying bits of him are still caught in the serrated tines.

Peeta doesn't realize it until he has waited too long. He vomits all over the floor and the side of an expensive chair. Katniss jumps to her feet in concern.

"Move it, put it someplace, I can't look at it." He says pointing to the trident.

Katniss walks over to it and picks it up carefully. She lifts it, remembering how it shimmered in joy as it punctured his chest the first time. She remembered his look of approval. "There you go. You did it sweetheart." He had done it on purpose. He had said he would make her. "Yes you will sweetheart, yes you will. If you love me, don't make me compel you. Make it quick for me if you can. I trust you, sweetheart. I love you. Remember who your enemies are, even me. Anything you see, remember I did it because I love you. I don't have to take your Daddy's place. He took mine. Last night as a family. Like my own child. In my fantasies, you are my own child. Babydoll. Sweetheart. Kiss me. My fight is over sweetheart. You are the only thing that I ever did that mattered. Think kindly of me." His voice was everywhere. "Please no, don't burn me. Babydoll, not that. Katniss I am dieing, please. Enough. Stop. I love you. Please sweetheart it was a lie. To help you. Please. Katniss it hurts. I can't stand it. Kill me, it hurts."

Man on fire. The father. Child Molester.

"Shut up Haymitch." She whispers to the trident.

Peeta doesn't turn around. "What did you say Katniss?"

"Nothing. I have something to tell you. About Cinna." Katniss says quietly tucking the trident into a closet.

There is a knock on the door. Peeta answers it and screams. Two Peacekeepers flank a now dressed Cinna. "Peeta." He whispers weakly with a grin.

Katniss runs to him and takes his arm. Cinna pulls away and leans on Peeta heading for the vomit chair, then is guided elsewhere by a bashfully mortified Peeta.

"We need you to sign for the delivery, the title of your property, and inventory of the slaves condition, Miss Everdeen." The taller one commands holding out a clipboard.

Katniss takes the paperwork and quickly signs her name to the various forms. They hand her papers that identify Cinna as the Live Stock of Katniss Everdeen to be sold or disposed of at her discretion. "Cinna did they hurt you in any way after I left you?"

"They treated me well, once I became your pet."

Katniss signs the inventory. " Thank you. That will be all."

They bow to her and leave. She closes the door quietly. She leans her head on the door for a second bracing herself for the barrage of questions.

"Your slave?" Peeta says, his voice sending ice down her spine.

"I am a gift from her new best friend. I am required to make her a dress she actually likes this time for her interview tomorrow. She owns me and if I displease her in any way, she can whip me with her new toy or simply slice my throat without fear of breaking any law. I am now the mere chattel of the girl on fire." Cinna explains.

"Peeta I can explain."

"Can you Katniss? Can you really? Can you explain Finnick Odair? Can you explain Haymitch? The night on the beach with him all over you? Then what you put him through, before you let him die? You tell me what sick pleasure looking at his guts hanging from that thing you just put in your closet brings you! Can you explain how This has occurred? You own him? Like a thing? And you're smile, the joy you take at these?" He knocks the bouquet of roses to the ground in his anger.

Katniss chews her lips. "get out Peeta. You need to calm down and until you do, get out."

"No. What will you do if I don't? Take this to me?" He picks up the whip out of her chair and throws it at her.

Katniss, turns around. She keeps her eyes on the floor. "The dress should be black. In mourning for him and Finn. I want a trident on it and a mockingjay shadowed in fire, holding a rose in it's beak. Roses around the hem if you have time. I suggest you get started. I am having dinner with the president tonight, please choose something appropriate for me."

Katniss opens the door and flees. She opens the door to Haymitch's room and locks it behind her. The liquor is right where it belongs. The entire room smells of comfort. She pours a glass of it and goes into the bathroom, turning on the music. The sound is not to make her feel better; it is to hide her sobs and screams. She sits in the steamy stream, letting the heated water burn her skin and the liquor burn her inside as her soul burned for the father with love and hate and betrayal and hideous loyalty.

She finally rouses herself from the stupor that followed her first real tears. Her skin is brilliant red and she is so overheated she is sick. She pulls the covers back and slips between the cool sheets. They smell of detergent but the steam of her wafts his scent to her as well. He had lay in this bed for years and he was still there, reborn in her.

She has fallen asleep and a loud knock rouses her. For a split second she is just Katniss, lying inexplicably naked in Haymitch's bed. For another second she hears drums and wonders if she is dieing, hope fills her that she is a ghost and nothing is real.

"Katniss I am going to break this door down if you don't open it." Peeta says worried and angry.

She stands up, pulling the blankets with her in a jumble and unlocks the door. It is opened and Peeta and Cinna stand there glaring. Cinna enters her room in a snit, with his makeup boxes and a garment bag.

"You ok?" Peeta asks.

She smirks. "I'll let you do the math on that one Peeta." She slams the door shut, walks to the middle of the room and drops the blankets to the floor. She stands before Cinna naked and so distant she doesn't care. He looks at her for a moment but says nothing.

She goes to Haymitch's Bar and pours another drink. "Want one?" She asks.

"No thank you. Are you certain that is a good idea?" Cinna says carefully.

"What do you care? Me dead would be a Cinna freedom celebration." She swigs deeply from the glass. "Just do this and let me be stupid in silence."

"As you wish….master." he yanks her hair not trying to be gentle.

Katniss sighs and just stands there naked as he yanks the knots out of her hair. He observes her carefully, finally finishing her hair in a simple up style and slips a vivid red sequined dress on her that falls to the floor in puddles of fabric. He places a cover over her and quickly does her makeup. He only speaks instructions. She flashes a look of disgust as he straps the heels to her feet.

"See what you think?"

Katniss gasps. "I think if you were going for whore, you out did yourself as always. I am sure it will deliver exactly the results you are hoping for. Sorry you think here with me is worse than torture."

Cinna realizes his error. "Wait, let me fix this…"

Katniss flings his arm away. "It's fine. Glimpse into my future, but you already knew that. Have a nice evening. Tell Peeta….never mind you probably took care of it with this get up."

Cinna felt like he was watching her launch, having seen it happen twice, he recognized the signs. "Katniss, I am…"

She didn't wait for him to say more, he'd just told her what he thought of her. She slammed the door behind her. Peeta can't control the look of horror on his face. "Oh my god Katniss, you're not going out with Snow, looking like that are you?"

"I trust Cinna and you. You guys love me. Surely he knows more about these things than we do. Oh and Finnick? That was acting. Still a virgin, at this exact second. Night. Don't wait up."

"Katniss what is going on. You look like…"

"Hell? Well, I will toast one to the old man tonight, he escaped, maybe I will too, eventually." There is just a tiny slur to her voice. He follows her out of the suite and watches her push the button to the elevator.

"Don't go." He says softly.

"Yeah. Thanks for the thought." The elevator dings and she steps on shaking her head at Peeta. There is a man dressed in lavender tails and top hat waiting in the lobby.

He bows at her, "Miss Everdeen, I am here to escort you to the President."

"Thank you." She says softly and follows him to the waiting car.

President Snow can't hide his surprise as he enters the car. "Miss Everdeen, you are a vision."

"Cinna is my favorite present ever Lanus. You can thank him." She says sweetly. He takes her hand and she squeezes his warmly.

"I am most pleased I didn't let him go to waste after all." He bends debonairly and kisses her hand. "I hope you like the theater. I so rarely have anyone to share it with."

"I have never seen a play." Katniss admits.

"Then I am honored to be the first to introduce you to it's many pleasures." He purrs seductively.

"I am thrilled to be invited." She smiles at him before dropping her eyes and blushing.

"Peeta did not wish to join us?" he asks softly.

She shakes her head and grins. "I didn't invite him. Is that ok. Mr. President?"

"A chaperone may have been a good idea my dear Miss Everdeen?"

"Then we should defiantly make him come with us, because nothing adds more atmosphere to an evening then a petulant grouchy mentor. To bad Haymitch is…unavailable. He would have ruined the evening already." She teases.

Snow laughes. "You are most delightful Katniss Everdeen. I can't wait to discover whom the dynamic fellow is who truly holds your heart. I have been unable to think of anything else all day. I have a list. How shall we narrow it?"

"One per month, three guesses during the tour and three more at the next games." She says with mirth. "It is fair, I can't have you just read the register of capital citizens. You have to deduce, taking careful aim. Not scatter names like shrapnel.

"Five guesses at the games and if I have not figured it out by that time you will confess and prove what you have said. I will not be toyed with. If your proof does not fly, all bets are off." He says still concerned that this girl is not telling him the truth.

"Done. And If you are not satisfied with my proof, then you still have my cooperation. But you will know it is true, whether you like it or not." She chooses her words carefully.

"Another hint? You think it will distress me to make this discovery?"

She sighs and frowns trying to decide how to answer. "I think it will make you react strongly."

"React strongly. Hmmmmm." He stares at the ceiling, tapping his chin with his fingers.

Peeta stares at the doors long after they close. He can't breath as he watches the elevator lights indicate the decent. "Katniss, please don't." He whispers and turns in stunned silence to his quarters.

He goes down the hall to Haymitch's room and opens the door. "Why did you do that to her?"

Cinna has been crying. He lifts his head up to Peeta. "I don't know. I don't know. What have I done Peeta?"

"I think you and I may have killed a mockingjay." Peeta says and sits on the still damp bed. He clutches the pillow she had slept on and smells her there. He can't stop the silent sobs that hiss out of him. Haymitch, his mother, and now, his Katniss is as good as gone as well. Cinna stares out the window without moving. As it gets dark, he finally speaks. "Peeta?"

"I'm awake."

"I have some things I need to tell you about what Snow does to victors. I have done something tonight I will regret for the rest of my life. But I can't tell you here. I can't be in this room any longer. I feel watched."

Peeta sits up. "Me too. It feels like…."

"Haymitch?" Cinna asks.

"Yes." Peeta whispers. "And he's pissed off."

Cinna nods.

* * *

><p>Ohhhhh ooooo ooooooo chapter 8 is gonna be bad -ohhhh oooooo ohhhhhhhhhhhhh when god is gone and the devil got the type writer - hehehehe<p> 


	8. Chapter 8  the Truth

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 8**

* * *

><p><strong>The truth<strong>

_**These are the shores whereto my soul**_  
><em><strong>Blood drenched and unredeemed<strong>_  
><em><strong>Shalt seek solace in secrets told<strong>_  
><em><strong>Through the whispers of a dream<strong>_

_**Haunted shores –Cradle of filth – Antique Song Museum of Panem**_

The dress was a remake and not up to his usual standards, but beings he'd cried until he was sick, the fact she had a dress was a miracle. She had returned after three in the morning. This was his room now she'd directed. He tried to apologize but she responded by saying she was sleeping in the room she belonged in. Haymitch's room. The room both he and Peeta had felt strange. She had pulled pajamas and the disgusting trident out of the closet and said goodnight, refusing to give him an opening to any other conversation.

Peeta had knocked on the door two seconds after she closed it. "I am fine. Go to sleep." She'd said through the door.

"Katniss? Please, may I come in there?" he'd ask softly.

"I am tired. I want to drink alone and go to bed. I will see you in the morning. Peeta I have had all I can take for now. Just please, leave me alone."

He stood there for a long time, trying to figure out something he could say, but in the end he went to his own room and lay awake, thinking of her. There had been footage of them leaving the theater on the celebrity gossip network. She had looked like a tart, and she'd grinned just like Finnick. They had played another memorial to him, as they had since the end of the games. Finnick had been with her that night, but she had said she was still a virgin. It had all been for the cameras, just like her kissing him in the games. He and Cinna had talked for hours.

He was sick when Cinna explained the things Snow would do. He sits in terror, that for Katniss, these things had already begun. He did this to her by screaming at her. Cinna by treating her like she had done anything but save his life. Haymitch by making her the mockingjay.

The next day flew by with preparations for the show. For Katniss the main preparation appeared to be drinking. Peeta's main goal seems to be trying to keep her sober, as she skulked around to wherever he was not, and continued to drink. It did not lead to comfort, conversation or apologies.

"Where the hell is Effie?" she asks as she stomps to the dinning area for lunch.

Peeta frowns but tells her, "Effie needed a little vacation Katniss…" He says softly choosing his words carefully.

"Vacation? From what? Wig shopping and parties too much for her now? It's too much to ask that she keep us on schedule in between her social life?" Katniss spits both angry and slightly hammered.

"Effie is in the hospital OK? She was in the damned control booth, with me, and when you lit him up and kicked him in the face to keep him from …the water. She had a breakdown Katniss. My God, she'd loved him in some air-headed twisted way and watching You. She is catatonic. Is that justification enough for you?" Peeta says much more harshly then he'd meant to.

"Must be nice." She says and tosses her full plate into the dish disposal. Again she locks herself in Haymitch's old room. Peeta hears her talking in there. He is about to knock when he realizes she is addressing Haymitch. Shivers screeching down his spine, Peeta leaves her alone and begins drinking himself. His hands tremble and his heart is thunder.

Cinna tried to speak to her and she just shakes her head at him and went back to her distant stare. She refuses to look at him after that, and even as she stood naked while he dressed and painted her skin for the cameras, she never once met his eyes. He carefully did her makeup, making her look the way he always had, begging her with his eyes and his gentle demeanor to forgive him. When he was finished, she refused to even glance in the mirror. "Doesn't matter, they all see me just like you." She'd stomped away, never looking back. That is when he realizes how deeply she is failing and how his little tizzy had honestly affected her.

Katniss sat in the lovely black dress next to Caesar Flickerman. He had been a little solemn this evening, unsure how to treat someone who had calmly smiled as she had burned a human being she had loved. Much of the conversation revolved around Haymitch who had clearly been the star of the show. They teased her a bit about Finnick and she turned beat red at how very convincingly they had fooled the camera. They cut away to her on top of Haymitch pretending to kiss him, and wanted a comparison of who was the best kisser.

"Kissing? Haymitch obviously. I mean with Finn you eventually moved on, but you just couldn't ever get tired of kissing Haymitch. Of course, that was before he told me he might be my father." This received huge applause, laughs and the most lighthearted moment of the evening.

On screen, Haymitch stalked the brother and sister. He had fallen into an ambush. He followed them and Brutus' female counter part, but they had laid a false trail. The three attacked Haymitch all at once. District two slung a spear at Haymitch as he took down the female from one with three arrow shots. He dodges the spear but its final arc hits him low to the ground in his calf. It had been thrown with such power, that it sunk into the bone. With this in his leg he merely whips the straw thing up and sent a huge dart into Cashmere's brain by way of her nasal passage. She died with a surprised look on her face and bright orange feathers where her nose had once been.

Gloss came at Haymitch in a rage at the death of his sister. He had time to get far too close, while Haymitch dealt with the girls. Haymitch, a spear in his leg, dodges the man's sword in three quick parries. As Gloss spins around, showing off his sword training, Haymitch lunges with his knife and stabs him painfully in the kidney. As he jerks his knife out of Gloss' side Haymitch kicks the sword up out of District ones hands with his good leg, lunges forward, catches it, tumbles left, spear and all, and came up in time to decapitate his opponent.

Haymitch fell to his knees exhausted and he'd actually lost consciousness for a few minutes after he'd finally managed to dislodge the spear. He'd had to use his good leg to leverage the point out of the bone, he screamed in pain and Katniss began falling apart right on stage.

Katniss couldn't blink as she watched him, alive and so beautifully deadly. Tears leak down her cheek as she watches him limp toward Nuts and Volts. He walks into their camp and throws a knife into Wiress' throat as she smiles at Haymitch in welcome. Poor Beetee began screaming and as he knelt over her gasping, choking body, Haymitch yanks his head back and slices his throat. Haymitch kneels down and holds the man's hand, sobbing for forgiveness as he died.

Haymitch turns his head to the sky and eyes red he says, "Sweetheart, if you are watching, it's worth it to me. I love you. Remember." Katniss bent over in sobs and Peeta had to be called to help calm her down. The rest of the show, the cameras stayed away from Katniss as much as they could, she could not be consoled as he burned. Ceasar tried a few questions, but she couldn't breath in or out enough to answer. She sat there helplessly eyes rolling and near collapse.

The show ends to a somber audience watching her sob into Peetas shoulder. They did a little tribute to each of the dead victors, and a token recap of each of their games. They showed any tributes they had led to victory and as they show Haymitch young and handsome Katniss' eyes lock on the screen and she smiles as if lost. She leans forward then moves to the monitor and puts her hand on the screen as if she thinks she can touch him. "Haymitch Forgive me. I am sorry…so…sorry. Haymitch come back…." When he is gone, she begins banging on the monitor, whispering no over and over.

Peeta leads her from the stage. She walks in a daze. President Snow stands in the wings and when he holds his arms open, she leaves Peeta and whimpers for his forgiveness. "I'm sorry, I tried. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I am sorry."

President Snow wraps his arms around her and pats her back, crooning to her that she did just fine. Peeta stands, feelings hurt and disgusted by the way she lets him comfort her. Finally, Snow pulls her back and tells her she must be strong. She nods and smiles at him. He thanks her for the previous evening and hands her a small box. It contains a gaudy antique necklace and she seems pleased and lets him fasten it on her neck.

She showed him the roses around the hem of her dress and he grinned with obvious pleasure. Peeta waits but he is tense as he helps her through the crowds and back to the training center. She won't go to her old room and insists Haymitch's room is hers from now on. Peeta shivers in dread, searching the room for the source of his fear. As she showers, he is feeling watched again. He tucks her in and tries to kiss her. She backs away eyes filled with alarm.

"So anyone is better then me now? You hang on Finn, Haymitch and the old creeper Snow but you can't find any comfort in me?"

She glares at him. Then lays back on the bed and looks away. "Do whatever you want Peeta. You and Cinna seem to have the same opinion of me. Here, everyone will be at me soon enough. You might as well get your turn in."

Peeta stands up and walks out of the room.

The door locks behind him. Katniss drinks until she has to lay her head on the table between drinks. She holds the trident in her hand. When she can't hold it any longer she lays it on the table in front of her, keeping her hand on it. She feels the movement behind her and struggles to sit up and look around. She flops her head back down on the table when she figures out nobody is there.

The sound of the bottle touching the glass, and the noise of liquid pouring, makes her jump and her head flies up to see her glass is full again. Her bleary eyes try to focus on the figure that leans up against the table.

With a yawn she growls, "how the hell did you get in here…." She downs the drink and glimpses her visitors face. Her eyes grow wild and she falls backward, chair and all, cracking her head painfully but not really noticing it.. "Oh god….oh nooooo….."

He smirks down at her, arms folded, legs crossed casually. "Miss me? Sweetheart?"

"Haymitch? It can't be…"

He frowns, "You asked me to come back. You didn't really believe me about the haunting part, did you?"

The next morning the passkey has to be used to load her up onto the train. Nobody wants the duty of moving the trident, but she grasps it in her sleep if that's what you can call it. She moans. Haymitch's name is one of the few things anyone can actually make out.

She is out for most of the journey home. They manage to sober her up a little, but nobody realizes she also has a mild concussion, they just assume she is paying the price for her actions. That actually begins as she steps off the train.

The crowd is tiny, maybe forty people have shown up. Gale is nowhere to be found. She smiles and waves, Katniss the actress up on stage. She grabs Prim and shaking, begins saying she's sorry.

"He will never hurt you again, little duck. Why didn't you tell me? Nobody will ever hurt you again, I swear it." With great ceremony, Katniss presents the grizzly trident to her sister, who takes one look at it and screams at her.

"It's a LIE. How could you believe that of him? I loved him. And you. You. How Could you Katniss? How could you do that to him? Keep it, I cant stand to touch that thing. You couldn't love him and believe THAT! You're not my sister. I hate you." Prim turned and ran into the crowd.

Katniss stood silently, stoically processing what Prim had said. She held the trident tightly, looked at her mother who was pale but at least meeting her eyes. "The rest of it?"

"Dad. Is it true." Peeta asks realizing his father's arm is supporting Mrs. Everdeen's.

"You should go check on your sister, son, we will see Miss Katniss home."

"Mother? Did you let me kill my own father and the rest?" Katniss asks as if she wants to know who ate the last of the bread.

"This is not the place for this conversation." Herb Mellark says kindly.

"There is no place for this really. The place for it has long passed in time. Just yes or no. Is he? Was he?" she demands.

"Maybe? Possibe. Wasn't for money, just a mistake. He was kind to me one of the times your father, disappeared." She turns to Peetas Dad and he glares at Katniss.

"Please, my dear, she's been through enough." Herb says with the same protective kindness Katniss has seen on Peeta's face a thousand times.

Katniss smiles and nods. She horse laughs as if the world has just told the greatest joke of all time. "Well You two and Cinna will be stayin in victory house one, I suppose. Me? My father left me his humble stinking abode. I'll be there if anyone needs to tell me any more about the awful life they have. Where's Ripper?" Katniss doesn't wait for anyone to help her. She marches down the ramp using the rejected trident like a walking stick.

She goes to the new makeshift hob. It is just a bunch of improvised tents now. The crowds part for her like she carries a disease; nobody is willing to meet her eyes. The fence buzzes ominously in the background as the wind kicks up loose soil, giving the ground a tan smoky appearance. The tent she seeks is bouncing and threatens to collapse any minute. She slams two coins on the wooden counter expecting to be handed four bottles.

Ripper fixes pale gray eyes upon Katniss. "You ain't got no business here. I ain't selling you a drop girlie?"

"Oh must we discuss age limits? You had no problem with taking my money in the past." Katniss says eyes narrowed and a dangerous frown on her face.

"That were before you done what you done." Ripper says gruffly.

"Really? My money isn't good enough now? You think you can make it here now without me? Darius is an avox in the capital. Haymitch is, well he's getting off the train as we speak probably, but I think he's probably as dry as he's been in twenty-five years. Actually, I know it for a fact. Your two best customers are gone for good. So You have your choice. Me, or I will just have my hooch shipped in from the Capitol, and you can starve. Your choice Ripper old friend." Katniss dumps her whole purse on the table when she gets no response. "Have that delivered to my house, minus the three bottles I take now."

Head high and no nonsense, Katniss takes the wide road as if it is an honor to be shunned and avoided. She walks the walk of a victor times two, hated, worshiped and alone. She doesn't glance at the houses that once held her life. She goes to the most rundown, abandoned looking one of the bunch. Summer daisies bloom along the front. Prim planted those for Haymitch, not her. Prim hates her. Prim will have to forgive her, or she can't exist. Prim was never in any danger from Haymitch. Katniss had believed something she never should have imagined for a second, even if it did come from his own lips. Haymitch had burned in innocent love of her and died with her hatred as his last image to take beyond. There is forgiveness for him, but Katniss has not a drop for herself.

For two days she drinks and she waits for anyone to cross the threshold. Prim is who she prays for. Her mother would be welcome, even Cinna. Peeta doesn't knock, though she sees him coming and going and even walking to her old house. Gale is noplace to be seen. She hears the delivery of the liquor and goes to the door. She looks down at the case of booze and there is a coiled rattlesnake lying happily in the sun, curled around the bottlenecks.

She looks up the street and sees three people watching her. She bends to the box and gently lifting the dangerous creature flings it away and waves. "Nice try? Why don't you come on over here and we can discuss it? I am unarmed. There are three of you! Surely one of you can do what your lame little slithery couldn't? Is that what you all want? Is that going to help you?" She screams up the street and they all run away.

She drags the bottles into the living room. There is nothing in the house to eat. She is starving. She thinks the last food that she has had, was probably with Snow. She pulls her hair into a ponytail and pulls on an old tee-shirt of Haymitch's and a pair of baggy old shorts. Cinna would be so proud; maybe he would see her as she headed to the hob.

Greasy Sae stood up as she staggered to the booth. "Well if I had any doubt Katniss, I don't now." She says kindly plopping a bowl of her soup on the plank of wood that served as her counter.

Katniss takes a seat on a wobbly crate, her head throbbing. "Well, at least you will still speak to me."

"Give em time honey. It has been a real bad place for a lot of folks." Sae adds a big chunk of rough-cut bread to the soup. "You gonna be hunting soon?"

"Hunting people kinda ruins the fun of it." Katniss grouches.

"Gale been bringing in some poor pickins of late. I was hoping you could pep up the victuals a bit." This was Greasy Sae's way of telling people things they needed to know even when they hadn't asked.

"Fence is buzzing." Katniss says in confusion.

"Yep. Maybe some figured, the'y is more en one way ta skin a critter." Sae's cool gray eyes danced in mirth. Her eyebrows popped just once.

Katniss frowned at her, but for a moment an actual smile flashed on her face. She felt better after the soup. The girl on fire wandered around town aimlessly for a while. She felt like a ghost, trudging along with all eyes sliding away avoiding her. She glared hard at Ripper as she passed that stall. Grinning, she and made a rattle noise with her tongue. Rippers eyes widened then slithered elsewhere. Capitol liquor it is from now on.

She went to the bakery, trying to talk herself out of doing it with every step, she jingled the bell over the door and saw four sets of eyes meet hers for a split second. The shelves were full, which was strange for this time of day.

Herb Mellark stepped up to the counter and asked softly if he could help her. Katniss looked in his eyes, seeing Peeta in twenty years so plainly. "I am so sorry about your wife. Haymitch didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"Thank you. It was a long time coming, you know. She always had it in her, he just happened to land on the wrong button. I did what I could for her, but it was never going to be enough. Just like Peeta." He said then seemed to think better of saying more. "What may I get you Katniss?"

"Cheese buns. All of them. And some of that nutty fruity bread you make. You are usually sold out by now."

"Yes, I have a taste of what they are giving you right now." He commiserated.

"Maybe, found any snakes lately?" she says casually.

"No, They don't come into town much." He says confused.

She said no more about it. He bags up her purchases and handing them to her asks softly. "I don't know what you would think about your mother and I, but I do want to…"

"Herb. Stop. Nothing for me to think. Except maybe it's about damned time." She says smiling at him sadly.

Tears jump into his eyes. "Thank you." He whispers.

"Yeah well, best of luck. Tell Peeta…..never mind, just tell him thanks for it all." She says letting the door fall shut behind her.

Katniss is thinking really clearly by the time evening falls. "Herb wasted his life on a woman he could never save, just like Peeta." She whispered alone in the darkness. She didn't bother with lights these days, even the grouch ghost had abandoned her. It would make them all happy.

Katniss drank and tied a piece of rope into a noose. She climbed the stair and secured the end just above the chair she had placed there. She hummed an old familiar melody. Katniss looked at her handiwork, satisfied.

Katniss left the noose hanging in the dark and went to her old house. She didn't knock, just quietly opened the door. Her mother had cooked and everyone was at the table, Herb, Prim, the Mellark boys including Peeta. Cinna stood up as she walked into the room. Prim scooted her chair back and ran from the room.

"Katniss. I am so glad you came. Let me fix you a plate." Her mother said smiling and trying to be cheerful.

Peeta looks at her like a puppy caught piddling on the floor. Katniss shakes her head. "I ate at the hob. Just came for a few cloths. Can't keep wearing Haymitch's stuff. Please, never mind me, I know my way around here and I won't be long."

She turns and goes up the stairs. She knocks on Prim's door.

"Is she gone?"

Katniss swoons with the rush of tears that follow. She blows air out and tries to make her voice more than a sob. "Not yet, sweetheart."

"Go away."

"Ok Prim. I just came to say I am sorry. I love you." Katniss manages, clutching the pain in her chest.

"Go away."

Katniss nods unable to say more. She pulls a duffle bag out of her closet and stuffs random things into it. She stomps down the stairs and dumps it in the hallway as those at the table watch in silence. She goes to the formal closet and grabs a hand full of dresses. She waves and smiles as she takes a last look at them all. She lifts the duffle and bumps the front door open. The night envelops her and the full moon rises orange, like Peeta's favorite color.

* * *

><p><strong>Hmmmmmm - anybody get the lie yet? There is still the big one to go - the most horrible of all - who should save her - will anyone ? will it matter?<strong>


	9. Chapter 9 bad moon

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 9**

_**Hope you got your things together.**_  
><em><strong>Hope you are quite prepared to die.<strong>_  
><em><strong>Looks like we're in for nasty weather.<strong>_  
><em><strong>One eye is taken for an eye.<strong>_

_**Antique Song donated to Panem Museum by Capitol records – various artists**_

**(Bad moon)**

The moon is so orange it stops Katniss in her tracks. She watchs it rise, fade to yellow and climb into the sky. Last moon. Last chance. Last Goodbye. At last.

Her intended, hanging in the dark, from the banister, greets her. The rope hangs kinked, remembering how it was stored, but she will soon straighten it, stretch it. Maybe make it famous. It would end up in an arena museum, labeled for all to look at. "Keep hanging in there, friend. Be with you in a minute." She says softly. She dumps the clothing on the floor and lays the dresses out. Wedding dress, fire dress, black dress, candle light dress. The sluttish red thing would be shocking. A shimmering dress of midnight blue, like Peeta's eyes. She lays this on top. She searches in her small travel bag for a silver parachute. She takes the items it contains out.

"You might look at it sometimes" she whispers to the pink shell. Last little gift, only gift in fact. The little pearl from Mags. She lays these things open on the table. On a plate she lays a slice of bread. Untoasted, one slice, not two. She removes the necklace from Snow and lays it on top of the bread, making the chain encompass the pearl and the shell. Finns trident is laid at the top. There would be no note, each would know she thought of them without the embarrassment of unreturned feelings bothering them later. She dug in her bag and laid the mockingjay pin next to the shell. She wished she had her bow but there was no way to retrieve it. These would be the things they would send her away with.

Gale. She wanted to see him one last time. She wouldn't need to speak, just peek at him from his window. Katniss didn't second-guess the desire; she left the house and headed to the seam. His house was alive and warm looking. She crept up to the window, watching Posy bicker with her brothers. Gale must have been tired and went to bed early. She was disappointed but his family warmed her heart and she sighed.

" You just peep in the windows at night, but don't bother to speak to anyone these days, Catnip?"

Of course she had not heard him. She stiffens but does not look away from the window. "I am not welcome anywhere. Nobody wants to see me, so I oblige them. Doesn't mean I don't want to see. Sorry, I will go."

"You don't have to go." His voice is hesitant but it wraps her in its familiar tone.

"Thanks but, I just wanted…" she turns and looks at his face and she can't say more. She is memorizing the shadow and contours of his jaw and the lashes of his eye and the way his brow is arching at her, not sure if she's crazy.

"What are you doing?" he asks taking a step toward her.

She begins backing away, a wounded creature unable to ask for help or even comprehend that this predator doesn't intend to tear her apart. "Nothing. I just had to see you one…"

"So now you see me. Now what?"

"Nothing. Sae said you could get around the fence?" Katniss swallows, she needs a drink.

"You don't look so good Catnip. Want to tell me about it?" He asks, his hands shoved in his pocket.

"What's to tell? You saw."

"Yeah. I don't blame you though, after what he said." Gale says sympathetically.

"Wasn't true. Prim hates me."

"She will get over it. She will understand later."

"I wish she could. Maybe someday you can help her?" Katniss says her breath soft.

"It would be better from you. You want to hunt tomorrow?"

"Yeah. That would be nice, only, don't wait if I am not there." She says dropping her eyes with guilt.

"Why not? I will come get you if you want." He says watching her so intently it is scary.

"no…No. I tend to be…They bury him tomorrow, I don't know….I don't want you to see me like that." She says horrified that she would be setting up Gale to discover her.

"Then don't drink. I have heard you have replaced him. Just don't. Don't be him. You're holed up in that house living his life instead of yours." He says annoyance seeping into his tone.

"Funny, I understand him more then ever. How he ended up. He was my father you know." Katniss says it out loud and it suddenly feels like something she should have always known.

"I think that you are the only one that surprises Catnip. Wasn't news to the rest of us. Prim was a shock." He says with a grin.

"But my dad was my Dad too." She says defensively.

"Yeah, he was. He's the one who really saved you, you know. Taught you to hunt, to survive." Gale agrees.

"Maybe I will see you tomorrow. If you're sure you want to be seen with me." She says not wanting to ease into more. She has had more than she had hoped.

"I don't care what they say. I was waiting on you. I am glad you came." He says a little desperately.

"Thanks for saying that. Not much of it going around. All the Finnick stuff and kissing my father was fake by the way. One for the sponsors and one to be able to whisper things we didn't want anyone to hear. I know what it looked like but…"

"I believe you. I didn't think it was, what it seemed." He says quickly.

"Thank you. I am so sorry Gale." She says.

"You don't have to say that, not to me." He says almost glaring at her. He takes a step forward.

Katnis turns and walks away quickly, skittish as ever. "Just know, that I am."

"I will see you tomorrow?"

She spins walking backward. "I will try."

She walked back to her house just as Peeta left her mother's and went to his own house. She didn't hide from him. She distinctly felt that he saw her. She played a silly game. If he spoke to her, she would wait until tomorrow. She stood silently watching him. He didn't say a word.

"Peeta?" she said loud enough for him to hear. He pretended he didn't and slipped in his door. She stood there for a while, then crossed the street and circled his house. The big window in the back of the house was the one that finally gave her the bingo on Peeta. He had seen her; he had his back up against the front door, sitting on the floor sobbing into his arms.

Just calling his name and laying eyes on me causes him this much pain. "Bye Peeta." She whispered in the darkness.

She looked in her own houses window and saw Herb Mellark kiss her mother shyly on the cheek in the kitchen as Prim played a game with the boys in the living room. Prim smiled and laughed with her brothers. She didn't need a horrible sister any more. It is strange to know for a fact that the entire world is happier if you're not in it. She watched Prim, laugh as she scored something and one of the boys poked her in the ribs.

Katniss turned toward her house looking up at the moon and wondering if tomorrow night would be a better world. The moon would be the same, but she would not know the troubles it watched over. Haymitch was to be buried tomorrow. She had instructions to write out. It would tick him off if they buried her beside him, so she would leave that as one of her final requests.

It dawned on her that she would be unviewable too. It wasn't like anyone would stop by to check and see if she was alive. Nobody bothered to do that for Haymitch. It was a joke that when the smell from his house came outside they would know to check on him, but he would be so well pickled it might be the games before he would be missed. It wasn't such a funny joke now. Maybe when she didn't show up to the funeral, someone would know. It would be Gale.

She hated that it would be him, but there was no good choice. At least there was no chance it would be Prim. It made her thankful that she hated her. She sat down meaning to write something, but it didn't matter so much. She just scrbbled 'put me next to Haymitch. Say I was his daughter. Remember that I loved you all' What really mattered was a drink.

"Nice decoration sweetheart. Planning on joining me so soon?"

"About time you showed up. Thought you hated me too." She said. She was not afraid of her ghost. She lived in this rattrap hoping for him.

" I can't say I am very pleased. I killed Beetee for you to last a whole week, drunk. And, you haven't done anything with my book."

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Busy planning how to make the world a better place. I am not strong enough to live with this whole thing. I can't get Snow and live with the rest of it. I can't live with what I did to you and that I believed you hurt my sister. I can't live with your eyes begging me to stop and that I burned you for freaking nothing!" she has not yelled at him before.

"I forgive you if you take care of my book first. Just a few months. My God I did this for years!"

She glares at him. "Why didn't you tell me while you were alive. Did you hate me that much Haymitch? Was I really too horrible for anyone to really love?"

"What do you mean? Oh hey kid, I had an affair with your Mommy. She dumped me, but I had left her a tiny gift. She abhorred me by that time and had reconciled with her husband. I am your drunken Daddy, let's be have pie to celebrate."

"How about, I know things are hard and I want to help so you don't starve. How about your Mom needs some help and I care about her a little?"

"I did help." He says eyes cast down.

"You never helped me." She accused.

"Your trades with Sae. She even bought your blasted dogs. I knew you wouldn't take money outright. I tried to give it to your mother, she threw me out. Told me to never set foot near you again. Games changed that. Do you know that was the only time she ever admitted it to me? The goddam day you were reaped, she says for me to keep 'our' daughter alive. I couldn't breath after that Katniss." He has no ghostly tears but there is pain on his face and he holds his ghostly chest as if he can still feel it. " How do I convey it then. Hi, not only are you about to die, thanks to my drunken ineptitude, but Before you go, I am your daddy and may have gotten you in this mess in the first place. If it's so easy, go tell Peeta he's breaking your heart; go tell your sister that she's never going to have another chance to forgive you. Go tell your Mom and Peetas dad that they have nothing to do with your decision. Go care enough about me to read the damned diary."

"You go tell them if you care so much. They hate me. All of them. I saved Cinna and all he could do was dress me, like he sees me, for it. I would have told Prim but she sent me away. I would have told Peeta but he can't even look at me. Gale would have never let me walk away if he really knew me. He didn't even come to say hello. My Mom has a whole new family now. They all do. I had you and I made a horror of that. You go tell them." Katniss gave up on the glass and drank straight from the bottle.

"They can't see me. I have tried."

Katniss paces the room. Her drink is sloshing onto the floor as she becomes more animated. "That's another thing, I must be going crazy anyway. I can see you and talk to you. You aren't even scary. Sane people are scared of ghosts. Who knows how long before I kill someone, not knowing real from crazy. This is for the best and you know it. They will all show up to see me planted next to you, even the ones who didn't welcome me home will welcome that. Ripper had a snake delivered to my door, that is a pretty clear message. I am better for everyone dead." She rubbed her eyes and blinked trying to make him disappear.

"Then don't show up next to me expecting welcome. Everything you put me through is for nothing. I can't believe you set me on fire, wouldn't even allow me the hope of crawling to the water, stabbed me over and over only to crawl back here and be such a coward." He grouches.

Katniss sighed and tilted the bottle up again, watching the ghost with one eye, then rubbing her temples as she spoke."I know. I can't believe I did that either. But, what was in the shot Haymitch? You did that to me. That has something to do with it and you did that. I had to ask Peeta where you were? I had to find out what I did to you over and over because they would tell me and I would think That was the worst, but there was always more. Eighty-seven times. I hurt you eighty-seven times then set you on fire. I was hallucinating out there and you said things that were horrible. But you didn't deserve that and it makes me the monster."

"The roids were not kicking in. I was terrified nothing was going to give you the will to kill me, but once they did affect you, I saw that they were a mistake. Sweetheart, I did things in that game that I am ashamed of, but you surviving isn't one of them. You already have Snow eating out of you hand. You saved Cinna weeks of torture that make my few minutes of pain seem like a stroll through the hob. Don't do this."

"I can't Do what you want. I am done arguing. It is almost midnight. If Peeta had only cared enough to just wave at me. I have lost him and even if I hadn't right now, once I have been with Snow, he will be sickened just to look at me. Even if I kill him, what does it change? The games won't stop with Snow. They are law and tradition and so much a part of us, nobody even knows they are wrong anymore." Katniss stands and adjusts the chair, looking up at the rope.

"Please sweetheart."

"Haymitch I love you. I wish I had just known for a little while. I wish I had really been something to you when it mattered." She steps up and fits her neck threw the loop, then makes sure it will keep her feet off the floor, once stretched. "I am sorry, but if you want to watch stay, if not, you need to go now."

"I have met your children. My grand-children. If you do this, you kill them too. You stop their future." he says in pure desperation.

"Liar. And even if it's true, then I am doing them a favor. They won't ever reap my babies. I will see you in a few minutes Papa." She says, tears streaming down her cheeks and her breath gasping and sputtering. Adrenaline is making her shake.

The ghost fades before her eyes and she smiles and nods at his choice. She doesn't step casually off the chair she lets her neck bear the weight of her decision and as a last insurance, Katniss kicks the chair away as far as it will go. Her hands instinctively go to her throat and try to dislodge the choking rope. She panics and tries to reach the rope and pull her weight up with her hands, but her arms begin to be heavy as she spins and twirls in the darkness, like a child on a cable swing. Her legs kick out seeking any ledge to cling to life upon. The room spins and spins as she twirls, but soundlessly, her arms fall to her side and she feels pleasant. A floating sensation takes the discomfort of her neck away and she lets the swinging of her body rock her into sleep.

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><p><strong>Now this could be one end - If this is good I can stop here - clap if you believe in fairies -Lol review and tell me if Katniss lives and if you care about what is in Haymitch's diary. (I already have one dead Kat vote - so you have to review to save her -evil grin) do you care what the big lie is? All the hints you need are there - want to see the rebellion under Ghostly Haymitch play out or if Peeta grows old tending the two old victor graves - and being slowly driven to madness by his duties in the capitol? Lol<strong>

**Chapter 10 is called starry starry night - is the palette blue and grey or do we see morning fields of amber grain - Tell me, little ones, is the painters soul set free in the next chapter?**


	10. Chapter 10 starry night

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 10**

_Thank you all for your reviews - you guys Rock - I won't be updating as much - gotta get back to My stories now that class is finished...use what I learned to ramp up my lovely nightmares and make my monsters eat souls of sorrow - yes I am jumping the shark on HG and going darkside - wanna watch? Keep reading. Please check out my profile and stop by my blog! Booksandmusic97 & marblesharp - you guys have been awesome!_

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><p><strong>Starry starry night<strong>

_**Paint your palet blue and grey**_  
><em><strong>look out on a summer's day<strong>_  
><em><strong>with eyes that know the darkness in my soul<strong>_

_**_Panem archive of song conservation – restoration department**_

The house is still dark and Cinna doesn't want to be here. He reachs out and knocked softly. Cinna only came because he saw something he didn't want to contemplate. From his room upstairs he'd watched Peeta make his way across the street to his house. He had seen Katniss appear and stand there as if a trapped animal was seeing its doom. He hears her call to Peeta in the breeze oozing lazily through the window. Peeta refuses to speak to her. Cinna couldn't blame him; she seemed to only want the company of Haymitch. Peeta had slipped into his house quickly, but no lights came on immediately. Then the entire house lit up from the master control as Katniss had plodded slowly across the street as if being pulled by a leash. Peeta is afraid of Haymitch too.

Haymitch is dead, but. But. Cinna wonders if she is crazy or if the shadow that seems to hover near her could be real. Either it is real or he's going mad too. He had stood up, as she'd burst into the house during dinner, trying to see her face. He saw that look of determination on her brow, and the emptiness in her eyes. He'd put it there, with his makeup stunt and there hadn't been a moment since he'd done it, that he'd seen anything but despair. Theoretically he knew she'd saved his life and that he was lucky. Slavery, even to Katniss, was where the problem came in. To be owned by anyone was abhorrent to Cinna.

Of course, he was now the slave of a slave. Katniss, he knew, was not speaking of her own bondage. He had tried to speak to her, waiting for a chance. He had explained the situation to Peeta, but something had occurred there too that he never expected. Peeta had looked at her with nothing but disgust, since she'd come back that night. Cinna had begged him to reach out to her and he'd dropped his eyes and said "No. Cinna she doesn't want me. If she did, she would not be pushing me away. I can't even look at that thing, and she keeps it with her all the time. Those are chunks of someone we loved stuck on the weapon she used to torture him. I can't look at it without seeing her smile as she set him on fire. My Katniss died. They both died, you know. She is more with him now, than with us. You know what I mean."

Cinna did know. He pretended that he didn't see the way Katniss seemed to bring darkness with her into a room, but it had been nearly smothering on the train. Cinna had gone next door twice since they arrived, but as he approached the house each time, he'd been so filled with dreadful panic he'd been unable to force himself to knock. The room he stays in has two windows; one faces the road, the other her house. Late at night, sound carries from there. He had heard her arguing just moments before every thing changed.

He'd watched her circle Peetas house, but not knock on the door. Then he'd seen her circle around this house. He had just caught a glimpse of her as she'd stumbled toward that house he had basically refused to enter. That place gave him chills. He'd stood at the window trying to sort out the events. She had looked absurd wearing the cast off rags she'd dressed herself in. The others had wondered why she wanted the formals; it wasn't like she had anyplace to wear them. She had left without a word to him but the realization that she had not requested him to alter anything for the funeral tomorrow bothered him. Surely she didn't intend to wear any of the things she'd left with, to the memorial ceremony to bury Haymitch. She would be unable to put them on alone and they were far too glitzy for a funeral.

She had not asked him to assist her tomorrow. Mistress Everdeen had been a terrible master really, not even checking to see if he contemplated escape. It wasn't as if she'd beaten him again or anything. Not like those first moments, when her whip had descended every time he was hesitant to answer. That had stung his heart more then his body. The humiliation he'd felt, strapped before her naked and helpless had factored into his anger that night. Knowing she could command his life, had filled him with hate. His involuntary reaction to her in the most degrading way possible had made her eyes shine in laughter and the president had pretended shock. She signed for him and he assumed he knew his new purpose.

She didn't take Peeta's outburst well, but how could she have done all the things she had done? Cinna had lost everything and she had ordered him to make a dress she liked, for once. Katniss had wounded him to the soul, that she could have not liked the costumes he'd considered his masterpieces. He had put such pride into her and she had utterly crushed it with her little comments. He would rather be dead then feel like his work was nothing to her. Slave? Vindictive creature angered at his own creation behind his placid face. He had waited for her to say something about the new duties she would require of him. He had made her look like an object with only one purpose, testing the fates to destroy his girl on fire. Now he grasps how well it had worked. His intent that night was a greater shame to him now than any of the tormenting, life saving, measures she had taken to preserve his existence.

The renowned stylist stayed busy enough since being forced into this godforsaken hole that he could pretend he didn't notice. The mockingjay would need him tomorrow. She had said nothing about Haymitch's funeral, the only one to not speak of it. Maybe she didn't plan to attend. Maybe she would watch it from home. All the victors were to be buried in the afternoon. Finnick and Mags from district four were expected to have the largest turnout. They say the capital is nearly deserted, for anyone of any connection had filled the trains to district four. Each district had experienced an unprecedented influx of visitors, each of the old victors had fans. The locals had rented out rooms in their homes and were themselves camping on their boats to cash in on the funereal chaos. There had been sixteen suicides already and district four was near disintegration.

Haymitch would be lucky if he attracted more than twenty true mourners. Others would come to say they watched him laid to rest, so they could whisper about Katniss, the monster, and say they stood near her. But it would be a much more sedate affair here than what would occur at Finnick's. Strangely, it was rumored that Heavensbee had been named as a pallbearer. He himself and the Mellark boys would probably have to step in, because those Haymitch had named, had died with him, or by his hand in some cases.

He had altered a deep charcoal suit for Peeta yesterday. He'd reworked suits for all the Mellark boys, including Peeta's dashing older brother, and even produced a deep ebony dress for Mrs. Everdeen. Cinna had fitted little darling Prim in deep china blue to match her eyes. She did look like Peeta. She was perhaps taking Haymitch's death harder than anyone save Katniss. Prim demanded that she be allowed to speak and she fiercely intended to tell the world what a wonderful person he'd been. She and Peeta both shared a strange pastime, playing pretend that Katniss was dead rather than next-door in agony. Cinna played too.

Katniss had not requested anything from him since they arrived. She had not spoken to him much less demanded his servitude in any way. Dread fills him as he makes this swan dive of understanding. The air in the room felt stifling. She would not miss the funeral. What would she wear? He had all her trunks of cloths, untouched and stored in the small ground floor room that had become his makeshift sewing studio.

Standing in the window listening to her voice rise and fall, but unable to make out the words, he tries to come up with any explanation other than the one that has leaped into his thoughts. The temperature in the room fell remarkably frigid and the warm light from his work lamp did nothing to dispel the icy breeze that told him he was no longer alone. A shadow appears as he stares at the place wide-eyed and fearful. The familiar face, now in rage, moves from the fog of the aeons and glares at him. The lips move, but no sound follows as Cinna covers his mouth in horror. Haymitch is with him, trying to say something and pointing toward his former house. The vision only lasts for five or six heartbeats then the image and the cold are gone. Cinna didn't have to hear the words to appreciate what he'd just witnessed. Omen.

He'd stood trembling with his mouth covered to keep from screaming. Katniss must be in desperate trouble for Haymitch to be so angry. He is too numb to hurry and to afraid of what he is about to find to be calm. Opening the front door, the hot air outside and the moon seem ominous and somehow livelier in corruption. Cinna wonders if he is too young to have heart failure. "Going next door. There may be trouble." He says in his placid long practiced voice to Mrs. Everdeen and Mr. Mellark who cuddle chastely on the couch. He steps into the darkness, away from the safety of others. He wants to get Peeta to go with him, but the lights at his house seem to be blinking on and off as if he's having an electrical malfunction. "Haymitch." Cinna whispers in understanding. He hopes Peeta will understand and come too.

Peeta slips in his house, bracing himself against the door, his sobs are silent but he crumples to the floor. He just pretended not to see her. He couldn't even face her long enough to turn and acknowledge her. All he can see is the whip, the trident and the red dress. Those things are his image of her now. It had not seemed like she had to go, against her will, that night. She had somehow saved Cinna and he couldn't bear to imagine the price she had paid for his life, yet it didn't make it any less heart wrenching for him. If she had let him in afterward, wanted him, needed him. But she had said the facts as casually as breathing. They would all have her. Even that tiny sacred hope was wiped out of his life with those words.

The lights begin to waver. Peeta looks up in silence. "Power surge?" He says out loud, wanting to convince himself. The dread is so crushing it is sucking the hot air out of the stifling room. His good leg begins trying scoot his body, to back away, but the exertion is useless beings his back is already against the front door. The lights become more agitated, and though all he can think of is escape, his mind does not have the clarity to stand up, open the door and flee. The cold air caresses his face and whimpering sounds of denial begin to burst from Peeta Mellark. "No, no, no."

Each time the house goes dark, the flash of a figure stands before him. He knows who it is. He knows Haymitch has come. Peeta doesn't scream, but his breath makes fearful noisy labor as it enters and exits him at frantic pace.

The sound is warped and confused, but his old mentors voice is discernable and angry. "You going to let us both die? My blood is on her hands, but her's is on yours. Help her."

"Haymitch." Peeta whispers, holding his hands over his ears. He squeezes his eyes shut, but when he opens them Haymitch, flickering like a projection or a flame, is in his house.

"In three minutes she will be brain dead. Run Peeta. If you ever loved her or me ….Run!"

Peeta screams at the apparition. "It's what she wants. She died the day she picked up that trident!"

"Choose Peeta. Love or Pride. You don't get a second chance to save her this time boy." The ghost bent down to him with a look of disgust. "To bad for her. I always thought she was the selfish one. Should have let you die in the river. She'd be over you by now, and I might be alive."

The lights continue to flicker and some of the bulbs begin popping. The pace takes on the mood of the angry shadow that has crossed threshold and worlds to speak to him. Peeta just sits, trying to breathe and think clearly. His mind plays a trick on him, showing him a daydream, a premonition, a revelation.

He approaches the dark blue coffin, the victor seal emblazoned on the side, but the casket is smaller than he remembers. The lid lifts and the reason for the diminutive size is clear. Her face is cold and painted, to hide the death that has crept upon her. He won't ever know if she could have loved him forever, because he didn't love her enough to try.

In the meadow two stones jut forlorn and alone. They belong to two long dead victors, nobody remembers except the crazy drunken district 12 mentor. People don't meet his eyes as he limps by on his latest leg replacement. He has not brought home a winner in thirty years and says he never will. They say he was handsome once, and in love with some doomed girl. He lives alone out there in a crumbling mansion. The houses out there are said to be haunted.

"Katniss." He shouts and begins scrambling to his rickety feet. He opens the door and begins stumbling in his lopsided prostheticly guided run.

Cinna, heart feeling like it has lost all hope of rhythm, knocks on the door harder and lets out a yelp when from behind he feels himself shoved. He is pushed so roughly, it causes him to crash forward and the door's broken latch gives way, tumbling Cinna into the foyer of the house and onto the floor. On his knees he can see the movement. Someone flies in the darkness in a graceful arc. No, she's not flying. The eyes are relaxed but still open and the tongue is beginning to peek from between the blue lips. The girl on fire twirls. The involuntary shudder and the release of urine is what give him hope that he can get her down. He springs into action as he screams for someone to help him. As he pulls the noose from her neck, lifting her, what feels like dead weight, the lights flicker on without human hand and faces begin appearing in the doorway.

Haymitch has been busy.

Mrs. Everdeen looks at Herb in confusion at the man named Cinna's actions. He is so very strange but she can't help but like him. She knows Katniss well enough to know that she won't share what is going on with her, but there are such odd undercurrents in the air. Prim is so angry. Prim won't listen to anything. She is at that age.

Herb shrugs and shakes his head helplessly. "I do not understand any of them now. My son is in denial and she is not catatonic, just painfully aware of her position. Do you know what her words meant to me, Lily? Her eyes in merry acceptance of my delusion… as if it were not a betrayal. As if you and I were tolerable… as if we could be real."

She pats his arm. "Our dream Herb. Our punishment for long ago, is over at last. She was just the first to see redemption. I hope her own does not take as long…"

"Was that a scream?"

"Oh no…" Lily and Herb rush out the front door following the frantic sound of terror.

Katniss stands next to Haymitch watching them fuss over the part that once was a girl filled with spirit and belief that hope was possible. She has escaped from that prison, but she knows the binds have not been cut yet. "Idiots. I should have gone into the forest and gone to the Dule Tree. Next time I will. See if you can direct them to that." She says frowning at her mentor.

" Next time? Means you intend to live now. That's a start." He growls back.

"It is a waste of effort." She says with finality.

"Thought you said nobody loved you. Is it that hard to admit you were wrong, sweetheart? Look at all this pain you have wrought. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy for you."

"Shut up, Haymitch or I swear I will haunt one of them into thinking they should just stick me in the box with you." She says with a disgusted scowl.

"You wouldn't dare. Eternity with you? I am in hell, and it is more ghastly than I ever imagined."

She laughs. "I knew you'd miss me."

"I would prefer it for a while Katniss. Please go back." He says softly, without guile.

"I can't." she looks at his eyes pleading with him to understand.

"Did I misjudge you? Could my daughter be so weak and wretched?"

"You were not exactly a pillar of strength Papa. You spent years existing, but not living. I could stand all of them not caring. I could. But when I killed you, I lost my sister. I can't exist with her hatred. I won't waste the effort to exist, when everything I do, is the action of a monster."

"If I can fix that, would you help me do what we discussed? The rebellion has been crushed with this quell Katniss. Only you can make it burn again. I have never lied to you about how hard it will be on you and they will hate you for a while, but it could get better, if you have the will to sacrifice and survive."

"You are dead. I almost am. Who cares? Let it go Haymitch. It isn't our fight any more. We don't belong here. It all just feels like a bad dream. I like it here in the peaceful….."

Haymitch grabs her by the arm. "Don't do that Katniss." He shouts and all turn as objects fly around the room crashing and spinning of their own accord.

"Don't do what?" she asks kindly a serene smile on her lips.

"Don't you dare find peace on me. You will not move on. We have unfinished business and you have an unfinished life. What if it were Prim laying on that floor, causing all this suffering. Would you let her whisp away to the restful places? Because if you do this to her, I promise you a day will come when she hates herself enough to follow you."

Anger blazes in her. "What do you know? You're just afraid there really is a hell and you will be put in charge!"

He leans in to her commanding and overbearing. He bends down and kisses her cheek, then her forehead. "Already been, sweetheart. Sent me back. You are my punishment."

"And mine. Hello sugar. Is that really what you picked to commit suicide in? Those shorts looked bad on Haymitch. They certainly do nothing for you."

Katniss smiles at the newcomer, dressed in skimpy flowing white robes.

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><p><em><strong>Well most want her to die - but you do want to see what's in the diary. Did you catch the identity of her second ghost? I know lets go ask Prim what she thinks - we will let her decide what to do with Katniss - I want her to live - but I like to torture things-stay away from the light Katniss! Don't look in the light! I know it's just a sideline story - but I love that Peeta's Dad and Mrs. Everdeen have some back story - and I like that they have found a little light in the darkness -what do you guys think - Herb and Lily Mellark? That would complicate - Peeta and Katniss - Go kiss your half sisters, half brother before he becomes your Steppy-bro. Fake cousin Gale may be a better choice -but Haymitch has a really icky pairing in mind - for his beloved little girl - they don't call me Howlynn for my sunshine and buttercups and …rainbows. grin (Psst -my class is over - welcome to the beaches of hell little ones….fair warning….sold…..keep reading at your own peril. )<strong>_


	11. Chapter 11 Knocking

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 11 (knocking)**

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><p><em>Are you still here? <em>

_You mean after I made Cinna a slave and tortured Haymitch to death, you are still here?_

_ You must be a tough bunch - well, we shall see - we shall see._

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><p><strong><em>Knock knock knocking on heavens door...<em>**

"What are we doing here Finn?"

"I don't know. Shhh she can't see us, just listen."

"Did you know Haymitch could sing?" Katniss says in wonder at the voice filling her.

"Of course. Didn't you?"

Katniss glares at Finnick. "No. Had no idea. I mean other than the hallucination of when I tortured him."

"That was a long way from singing. I held his hand Katniss. He had a lot of us waiting to greet him."

"I bet he did. He was always a barrel of laughs with a sweet disposition. Hmmpff. He probably gets along with dead things really well!"

"Your Father was beautiful once you know. He never had a chance to do silly things. He wrote that song for her. Only her. Now shhhh." Finnick says firmly.

Haymitch leaned over Primrose Everdeen, singing softly in his baritone unexpectedly beautiful voice. Katniss is transfixed with the sight and the sound of him singing a lullaby she had never heard.

**_Sleep little one, stardust in your eyes._**

**_Watching over you, gentle lullabies_**

**_Dream of flowers song and taste the sugar moon,_**

**_And when you wake on morrow,_**

**_All your dreams come true._**

**_Sleep little one, an angel kiss your head._**

**_Watching over you, tucked safe in your bed_**

**_I'll make a whisper bridge and ever I will stay_**

**_To watch you grow again,_**

**_In beauty every day._**

Prim's eyes pop open. She smiles and sits up, never questioning the purpose of a ghost in her room. "Haymitch. You came. Are you an Angel?" She says with delight, trying to throw her arms around him.. "Oh, you're cold." When that doesn't work, she begins sticking her finger in and out of his chest in wonder. In. Out. In.

"No sweetheart, perhaps a grouchy fallen one, but I am pretty sure only you will see me as such. I promised you I would come back if I could. Stop poking me." He says with charming mirth.

Katniss feels a tiny pang of jealousy. Her Father never looked at her with that face and Prim, her eyes were pure delight and love, when she looked at Haymitch. The last of her concerns fade. How could she have ever thought it of him? Nobody could look that tenderly and trusting to anyone who hurt them.

Prim giggles and continues. "I miss you. I want to hug you and there is nothing there. I see you but it's just cold where you are." Her eyes never leave her exploration of ghostly physics as she continues, but her face grows serious. She wears the face of a little doctor, telling the patient something unpleasant, in her calm direct manner. " I hate her for what she did. Why did you say those things Haymitch? Everyone believes them."

"First of all what happened to you keeping your promises? You promised you would not watch and you have, twice. That is hard for me to know." Haymitch accuses sternly but without his normal cutting sarcasm.

"Sorry. But it was. I had to be with you. I couldn't leave you alone. You had to be there and die, all alone. I wanted you to know I loved you and she…..it took so long. I kept thinking she would realize how much she loves you, but she kept…."

"She didn't have it in her Prim. I knew she couldn't kill me. Blame me. Do you remember when I gave her the shot? One of us had to Prim, you knew that. There is more to it than that. If we did not give them something spectacular, the plan was to reap you next year. I can't say that I expected exactly what happened, but I took away her ability to think with her heart."

"I am not sure she has one any more Haymitch." Prim says, tears welling in her eyes. She rubs her fingers together examining the consistency of the vapor, still investigating.

Haymitch shakes his head at her. "Would you be happier if I had come home? If I had taken the life, of the person who loves you more than anyone in the world, you think you could forgive me? I would rather be where I am, then know your disgust."

Prim swallows but she does not hesitate with her answer. "Yes. I would rather. Now, I would. I don't want her here after everything. You would have done it so fast, like you did for the others. That is forgivable, you had no choice."

"Prim. You don't mean that. How could I face you? I couldn't do it either, sweetheart. I love you both too much."

Prim's face flashes in anger. "Haymitch she tried to give me a piece of your liver. She tried to give me that thing she killed you with and all I could see was there was some of you still on it. I know what part because you drank too much."

"She believed me Prim. She would have done anything to protect you. You must forgive her."

"I don't have to. Not for that."

"If you knew you would never see her again, would you forgive her?"

"I don't think so Haymitch" Prim looks up at his face, her head shakes. "I don't know how. She kicked you and she laughed. Every time I look at her, I am afraid of her."

"Then you shall have your wish. She is leaving you this moment. If you think you have been fair to her, then go back to sleep. Tell them I want her with me. Tell them there is no need for separate graves. She did it to me, Prim. I forgive her. If you can't, as well? Don't worry about speaking kindness about me. Speak kindness for my daughter, who never felt anything for you, but love. I don't want your words." Haymitch stands, arms crossed.

"She isn't dieing. She was fine earlier."

Haymitch shakes his head. "You can't fathom the things she would have done for you Prim. She's already with me. I hoped your words would call her back. Instead you are sending her on without so much as a well wish."

Prim's face melts from hard to horror. "Haymitch? What do you mean? Don't go! Haymitch what are you talking….."

Katniss looks around at the mist. Finnick is next to her. "He never listens to me. I told him. Where are we now?"

"First Perdition. Where souls reflect." Finnick says softly.

"So it is ended?"

"Nearly. Damned you. I left Annie for nothing!" Finn says with anger.

"I'm sorry Finnick." Katniss says rightfully shamed.

"Great. You are sorry? You have peace creeping on you? But, you won't like what you find here. He will go when you do. He's been here for years Katniss. I will be stuck here, watching Annie cry for the rest of her life. She can see me. She screams Katniss. She's terrified of me." He says looking away from her into nothing. "I can't move on and I can't help her." His head shakes in lost frustration. "Second perdition, where souls finish life and repatriate. I am stuck there, Katniss. I gave my life for you and you threw it away. I can't go home, I can't send them what they need and I can't move on."

"I didn't mean it like that Finnick and you know it. If It had been faster, more gentle. Like yours, maybe I could live with it? If I had given him a good death. You went so fast. Blink. Easy!" Katniss tried to explain, but her words sounded hollow even to her.

Finnick shook his head at her. "Easy? I was still fighting to get back in my body as they drug me into the hovercraft. I tried everything to live. And your little Snowbombs were like love pats compared to what I have survived Katniss. You dare kill yourself when all of us were counting on you and you want my sympathy? You want to say sorry and we can strap on wings and halos? That's funny. You don't understand this process at all do you? Every life you touched, you will live again. This time through their eyes." He ran his fingers down the side of her arm seductively playful, waiting on her to comprehend what he said to her.

She spun on him, fear in her face. "Finnick what are you saying?"

He grinned his icy, charming, love-em-and-leave-em smile. "I am saying you didn't stay put long enough to find your own redemption, so it will be forced upon you here. You think feeling his pain as you burned your father is bad? Wait until you feel Peeta. Wait until you understand that pain little girl? Think of the moments of hope you crushed. You will live all the moments in perfect clarity. As he hands you everything of his being, and you brush his little shy attempts at love, at even pleasure away, then you will know hell sugar. For me? My life will take a thousand years to sort out? You could have helped us, but you are too weak. Haymitch can't fix this for you. You wouldn't let him."

"Finnick that is enough. Here have a drink." Haymitch stands next to them extending a bottle.

Finnick blinks at it. "How the hell did you get that?" He is impressed as he takes a swallow with relish.

"Never hurts to make friends with the rabble Finn. I know a guy. Turns out 'you can't take it with you' is more of a suggestion, than absolute law." Haymitch says, his sarcastic smirk playing on his lips.

Katniss takes her turn. "So what do we do now? Are we just standing around here waiting for my pulse to give out?"

"Complications. Sweetheart." Haymitch says softly.

"Perfect. What now." Katniss says without emotion.

Haymitch fixes his eyes in the distance as if looking at the same scenery Finnick had seen. "I wanted so badly for you to live. I may have made a mistake. You picked a very lethal way Katniss. You are unresponsive in the first place. That we could fix if you would just go back, but it seems the way in which you hung yourself, constricted your airway. Your body continued to try to breath while the heart pumped blood into your brain where it could not escape. That is why your tongue was swelling, gruesome way to go Katniss. It means if the oxygen deprivation didn't get you, the swelling vessels in your brain may blow out at any time in the future. It means at this moment your lungs are beginning to fill from the damage of you trying to force air in and out." He explains in a voice of anguish and hopelessness.

"So really the worst thing you are saying is that I did it, and it's only a matter of time? You can't stick me back in?" She says quietly.

"Worse. You are in a coma. I am saying that President Snow has intervened. The medical emergency Presidential hovercraft has swept you away. You left ten minutes after I was buried. Your body is on the way to the capital and regardless of damage, they can keep you alive for a very long time. If you choose to die, you will be made a Mutt. That will allow the capital access to your charming gifts, while you hang out at our own victors bash here. If you choose to live, you may have effectively made yourself a Brussels sprout. Neither of those outcomes does us any good. I should not have spoken to Prim, now she is inconsolable. She threatened to kill President Snow and he smiled and said he would be looking forward to seeing her compete next year. He intends to reap her. Killing yourself has blow the protection my death gave her. Peeta will have the joy of mentoring his sister alone."

"But what about the funeral? Haymitch you need to go and comfort Prim." Katniss says. "And Finn, you should be with Annie?"

"To late. The dirt is slung."

"How is it possible? We just left. It is still dark!"

"Time is a wave Katniss, it surges once you leave it."

Finn adds kindly. "It speeds up and slows down. It is like the ocean upon the shore, not easy to read, but knowable with practice."

Katniss shrugs at the explanations, turning her mind to the more practical result, rather then the how, of her perception. "Did she speak? What did Prim say?" Katniss asked.

"She said, she is going to do, what she knows we would want. Be the sister to you, she should have been. She is wearing your Mockingjay Pin." Haymitch says stoically. "She and Peeta argued. She plans on taking your place Katniss. She intends to volunteer even if they don't reap her. She thinks she can win and become the new Mockingjay. That is what we have sewn my dear. That is our hell."

"No. We have to stop it. No. You have to talk to her. Don't let her. Please Haymitch. I will go back. Anything you want, but don't let them do this to her. You have to help me!" Katniss is desperate.

Haymitch smirks. Steel eyes lock on his daughter. "Help you? You have placed yourself beyond help Katniss. If I help, anyone, at this point? I help her. Sweetheart."

"Will your diary help her?"

"It would have. But I can't tell her about it. The knowledge must exist in the world and it is dieing with you. All of Finns secrets and mine are lost now. Our lives are of no value, because you wanted to hurry up your vacation from pain." He says these things with no mean tone; the words are terrible enough.

"But you told her about the shot! You told her it wasn't me! Only we knew that!" she is pleading with him to find a loophole.

"And once again you forget about Peeta. He knew, so I could tell her."

"So I have to go back. I have to."

"It is our only small hope, yes. But, you should understand, that just because your brain doesn't register your will. It doesn't mean that your spirit won't know every terrible thing that occurs. You won't feel pain of the body. That will not function any more than your mind. But your spirit will watch, helpless, unable to speak or respond. Tortured and aware. You know what it will mean, if you can't get yourself jumpstarted back into function. I wouldn't ask it of you. Not even as horrible as you have acted. You are my daughter and I can't stand the thought of you strapped to a carcass that is useless."

"But there is a chance I could still be ok?" She looks at Finnick who has silently listened to this exchange, clouding his expression with no indicator what he is thinking.

"There is."

"Then how do I do it?" Katniss shrugs in bewilderment.

Haymitch turns to her and gives her that calculating mentor look she had seen so often during both games. "Listen, sweetheart. What do you hear?"

Katniss cocked her head in concentration. Her face lit up with a smile. "Prim? I hear Prim."

"Yes. She is with you. So is Peeta. They brave even the capital for you. What are you waiting on? Go while you can."

"What about you guys." She asks sharply.

"We will be along, sugar. You don't get rid of us that easy." Finnick smiles with approval. "And Katniss, even if it doesn't work out? Thanks for trying."

Kaniss nods. "I am sorry."

"I know, sweetheart. I know. I love you, babydoll. I have faith in you. See you in a bit, I hope." Haymitch winks at her, but he can't quite hide the fear behind his gesture. Katniss feels the pull of the voices and lets them take her. A flash of blinding light startles her.

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><p><strong>_^v^_<strong>

**Well - Yawn - you didn't think I would give her a free pass did you? She must pay for not listening to her mentor. ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ He may have a few bats in the belfry, but he should never be ignored.**

**Review this chapter - What will happen to Peeta in the capital?**


	12. Chapter 12 better off dead

**THE LIE**

**Chapter 12**

**Author note: I know -and no it is not abandon. I only have so many burners - other stuff was just cooking. Thank you all for the reviews!**

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><p><em><strong>As the whores and the drunks file in from the street<strong>_

_**Cause the steams in the boiler, the coals in the fire.**_

_**if you ask how I am, I will say I'm inspired.**_

_**If the thorn of a rose, is the thorn in your side**_

_**then your better of dead, if you haven't yet died**_

_**Elton John - Antique Song museum**_

The scent of roses, bile, cleaner and plastic sharpen the pain. I hurt. I can't swallow and I struggle in panic as some alarm obsessively screams near me.

"Katniss. Katniss? Peeta, I think she waking." I feel my hand being taken and warmth on the palm. "Katniss calm down. Don't fight the breathing machine, I know it is uncomfortable and it won't let you swallow, but don't be afraid."

I moan around the tube and it sets off more sounds. My eyes won't open and I grab at my face, but other hands stop me. "Miss Everdeen? If you are awake and want the respirator out, squeeze my hand." I squeeze hard. "Ok this is gong to feel strange, and I need you to swallow." Without any warning, it feels like I have just puked up a lung with sewer pipe attached. I swallow and groan as it sends new waves of ache shivering through me. I open my eyes and Haymitch and Finn stand half in half through my bed.

Haymitch leans close. "Did you make it, sweetheart?"

"Haymitch?" I whisper begging him to not make me be here with my eyes. "Haymitch," I say louder swallowing.

"Haymitch is dead Katniss." I hear another voice say with distracted pain. "Katniss, do you know… what happened?"

"Haymitch," I say again then I turn my head and see my sister's watery eyes. "Prim. Didn't mean it."

The nurse is checking things as my sister leans down and kisses my cheek. "Me either. I am so sorry Katniss. Haymitch explained. I am sorry. You came back for me?"

I nod. My eyes blur and she uses a tissue to wipe my mouth and eyes. She swabs my lips with something cool and mint flavored. I turn my eyes to Peeta and I see fear and pain on his face. His blue eyes are not sweet and full of adoration, but they don't seem filled with disgust either.

"Haymitch never sung to me," I whisper to her.

Her eyes go wide. "I miss him, Katniss."

"I would do about anything to take it back. I just wanted to take it back, Prim."

"No. He made you. It was what he wanted." Prim's eyes erupt with tears.

I look around the room and see every surface is covered with multiple arrangements of roses. I take a deep breath and sigh, practicing my swallow. Finnick leans close to me. "Guess who the roses are from?" He smiles and walks through Prim and toward the door. "I will be back later. I have some haunting to do," he says with a laugh for punctuation. "Glad you made it."

Prim is contented with getting my throat able to work and prattling on about the trip here and what everyone thought when they found me. How she's seen Haymitch and she believes me. I glared at him.

"Oh she is the polar opposite of you. Why I liked her so much. Ask one question and she will talk for the rest of the day," Haymitch says, his arms crossed and having taken the space on the foot of my bed.

"Why don't you go haunt something with Finn? I don't need a sitter," I say to him.

Peeta and Prim's eyes widen. "Katniss?" Prim asks and I know what she wants to know.

"Yes he's here," I say simply.

"Ok. I believe…" she begins just as another person enters the room. Effie Trinket hugs me and coos her thankfulness at my recovery.

"Lovely. Stop talking to me before they commit you, and you will be glad of my company soon enough," Haymitch insists.

Effie smiles sadly at Peeta and hands him a note. He reads it, pales slightly and stuffs it in his pocket. "I have to go," he says softly, "Be back when I can."

"Peeta?" I croak,"What is it?"

"You don't want to know," he says and without another word walks out.

"Peeta has an appointment," Effie says, trying to make it sound like nothing.

"Nothing you can do about it, Katniss. He will be fine. I hope," Haymitch adds.

"I know what that means, Effie," I say annoyed.

"Well. I am sorry you do. But you have made a mess Katniss. I don't understand …"Effie says tears welling in her eyes.

"I will take care of it," I tell her.

"I hope so. Prim? My name is Effie…"

"I know who you are. Why did you send Peeta away?" Prim asks in a rude tone.

Effie does not look at anyone. "You and I are going to be friends for a while, Prim. I have been sent to….."

"Do I have an appointment too?" Prim demands.

"No….no. But, Katniss is going to have a visitor and you need to come with me," she finishes quickly.

"Tell Prim to go with her, before he gets any ideas about her too," Haymitch says.

Prim glares at Effie and makes no move to leave. "I am not leaving my sister."

"Prim. I need you to go. Quickly, no arguing. Now!" I insist.

"Why?" Prim says hurt filling her face.

"Because he's coming. I don't want you here…with him," I say poignantly.

Effie stands and stretches her hand out to Prim. My sister looks back at me with regret, but does what I ask. "I will be back."

"I won't be long. Have fun with Effie. Don't worry," I say carefully, mouthing thanks to my old escort.

I didn't have to wait long. He breezes in the room and says nothing for a very long three minutes. I don't speak, waiting for his attack.

"Have you nothing to say, Miss Everdeen?" He says, barely glancing at me as he fusses with the flowers.

"I am sorry," I say playing up how damaged my voice is, to hide how terror filled it actually is.

"Oh you will be, my dear girl." He breaks off one of the roses and tucks it in his lapel, before taking a seat next to me and fixing his cold blue eyes on me in amused malice. "How sorry is still under consideration."

Haymitch bends to me. "Don't worry. I am here to help you."

I meet his eyes. "Why did you save me?"

"I have use for you," He shrugs, "Why did you do this?"

"I couldn't face the funeral for one thing. And I missed someone," I say being honest. Haymitch is whispering in my ear exactly what to say. "Can you guess yet?"

He laughs cruelly. "No, we are not playing that game. It stopped being entertaining as soon as you betrayed me."

"Ok," I say without emotion and turn my head away.

"I thought we were friends, Miss Everdeen. I am terribly disappointed in you," he says less angry.

I look at him and sigh. "Then I wish you had not saved me."

"Did this person you care so deeply for, do something that brought this about? Or is he just a story. A lie. A way to toy with my good will." His face is red with anger.

"It isn't a lie, but I don't think it matters now."

"Probably not. You are technically a criminal at this time," he whispers softly smiling.

"He didn't do anything intentionally. I am alone in twelve. Haymitch's funeral," she says softly.

"Was he in attendance?" Snow watches her unblinking.

I shake my head. "No, I hoped. Then when I realized it was not to be, I was crushed. I had hoped for a moment, a glimpse."

"Such extremes my dear. Perhaps it could be overlooked this once. Due to circumstances." President Snow reaches out and takes my hand.

I hold it to my face and kiss his grizzled old fingers, letting a tear fall. "I am sorry to have angered you, Lanus"

"Can you assure me it will not happen again?" he asks sternly.

I look in his eyes, cold blue. "I can, if you promise to come see me again? When you have time?" I say with a soft smile.

"How is Peeta?" He asks with a smirk.

"I imagine he's not enjoying the appointment you sent him on very much. You promised," I say.

"Punishment for angering me," he states.

"Then sell me instead," I say carefully.

"No. Peeta will keep his appointment. It hurts you more." He stands and arranges the roses.

"If you wanted to hurt me you wouldn't have stepped in to save me. You would have let me die in twelve," I say.

He stands there smiling, petting one of the blossoms with his finger. "Who would I go to the theater with?"

"Anyone you forced to go with you."

His eyes flash anger. "Did I force you?"

"No. I wanted to go."

"Yes, you did. People don't choose to go anywhere with me. At this moment, Peeta is being strapped to a bed. He is going to be taken in a somewhat brutal fashion. How do you feel about that?" He doesn't look at me, just keeps touching the flowers.

"Shattered. Helpless. Betrayed. Guilty. Exactly like you want me to feel." I watch him. Haymitch feeds these words to me. I glance at the ghost and he winks. I have no idea what he is up to and I am falling apart thinking of what is happening to Peeta right now.

"You didn't mention angry. I have arranged for you to watch what they do to him. Perhaps that will surface during the entertainment portion of our afternoon. Will it anger you to watch him humiliated?" His smile is toothless and too wide.

"Only at myself. It is a shame for him. He's terrified of me, hadn't even spoken to me since we returned. This will just make everything harder. His mind isn't strong enough. It will make it hard for the tour. Not having him." I look at the screen, hoping it will remain dark.

"Yet if I want you to accompany me to the theater, you would still say yes," he stated with a satisfied smile.

"Of course I would. But it would never be the same. I would go because I have to. Not because it made me happy to be around you. Not because I would seek your company on purpose." My eyes are cast down respectfully. I keep the sarcastic tone out of my voice as well as the hatred.

I pretend not to look at him, yet I see the question in his eyes. He chews his lip. "Plutarch Heavensbee would be a lucky man to have you in his corner. He has very attractive brown eyes," He says calculating and dangerous.

"Yes. It is too bad I prefer blue." I am careful to keep my face perfectly still.

"When you are released from this hospital, would you accompany me on another evening of entertainment. By choice?" he asks almost with anger.

"Lanus. I have no choice. Even if you didn't have the power to hurt me. You still have the power to hurt me. Damned it. You want me humiliated do it now. The blue eyes I need are here. Looking at me. You didn't come and I couldn't face his funeral without you." I hate Haymitch for making me say these things to him. I am in tears but they add to my charade.

He doesn't say a word. Then looks at me hard. "Me?"

I nod. "Now are you angry?"

"Perhaps not so much?"

He says nothing else and simply turns and walks out. I shake in pure fear and Haymitch smiles at me. It is less than an hour before Peeta returns. He is looking broken and as if he is near illness.

"How far," I whisper. I don't look at him.

"Just threat. It was frightening. Humiliating. I thought it. They changed their mind. What did you do?" he reasons as he looks at me.

I don't meet his eyes. "I stopped it." I lay back in relief.

"How." The word hang in the air darky breathing.

I look up at Haymitch who beams at me and puts his cool hand on my cheek. I close my eyes and smile, remembering the peace of death. "By dying again, sweetheart. But this way only hurts me. Take Prim home. Do it tonight."

"Katniss. I am not leaving you here alone."

"Peeta, I am not alone. Finn and Haymitch are here. He says for you to go. I will follow when I can." I say smiling at him and speaking gently.

"She can't be here Peeta. He says he will blink the lights again if you need him too. He says you're a little girl for being afraid of him and you hurt his feelings."

"If I go. Will I ever see you again?" He stands over me.

I open my eyes. "If you don't go and keep our sister safe, then no. I can't win and fight for you too. You have to trust me."

I say goodbye to Prim and Peeta. Then I say goodbye to me. I am not Katniss Everdeen. I am Katniss Abernathy, victor and daughter of a victor. I will melt the winter cold for I am on fire.

I close my eyes and listen to my father sing.


End file.
